Duct Tape & 100% Proof - Staff Song

[Verse 1] Ice machine broke, again at ten Someone ordered twelve espresso martinis for their friends Printer’s screamin’, tickets hit the floor Manager said “push through”—we said “pour one more” [Pre-Chorus] We smile nice, but we know the truth This whole place runs on duct tape and proof [Chorus – chanty] Duckers don’t clock out, we just fade away Covered in glitter and citrus spray If you made it through, take a shot, don’t think If you didn’t—well… you still gotta clean the sink QUACK QUACK—who’s the ride? DUCKER’S GOT YOU—GET INSIDE Keys or couch, we don’t ask why Just get ‘em home and let ‘em lie [Verse 2] Someone’s crying in the bathroom stall Someone’s in love with a guy named Paul Glassware’s gone, we got two left And somehow both of ‘em smell like regret [Bridge – inside joke zone] If you: dropped a tray → take a sip comped a drink → take a sip said “last call” three times → finish it If the duck’s watching… act right (beat) …or don’t. It’s been that kind of night [Breakdown – slow + dramatic] We came in clean… we leave unwell This place is chaos dressed up real swell But if we’re going down, we’re going as a team With a half-made martini and a broken dream [Final Chorus – louder, yelling] Duckers don’t clock out, we survive the shift Powered by vibes and a lime wedge twist If you’re still standin’, you earned your pay If not—we’ll see you… tomorrow anyway QUACK QUACK—lock the door Count the tips, then pour one more If you’re family, you already know… We never really leave this show