Squirrel came, squirrel came, To the man, to the man, Merry, merry Christmas time, Joy upon the land. Man reached out, man reached out, With some bread, with some bread, Squirrel stopped, squirrel stared, Then the squirrel said— No, no, no, no, no, no, no! How dare you, sir, oh no, no, no! Kind, yes you are, but hear me say: Gluten sends me far away! Tail did flick, paws did stomp, Tiny rage, tiny pomp, “Merry Christmas, good intent, But wheat is not what heaven sent!” Man stood still, man looked shocked, Squirrel ranted, squirrel talked, “I want joy, I want cheer, Not a tummy ache this year!” No bread! No bread! No bread, no bread! Nuts instead! Nuts instead! Acorn dreams and berry spread, That’s the feast inside my head! Squirrel ran, squirrel laughed, Up the tree, up the shaft, Still annoyed but festive too, Merry Christmas—just not you! Bells ring bright, bells ring loud, Peace on earth (except this bout), Learn this lesson, humans said: Ask before you bring the bread.
