[Intro] [Spoken, recallnig a case] Ah yes, the Bitch... Pekingese, hyperactive, lost in Highland Park area. She was half-dead when I found her. Allllll righty then! [Verse] Step aside, clear the room, let the master work You’re looking at the top pet detective in a Hawaiian shirt Laces out, Dan, but I ain't here to play football I’m crawling through the AC vents, scaling up the back wall Lost parrot, stolen monkey, missing whale, standard case I’m picking hair off the couch to track the victim's space You think I’m crazy ’cause I talk out of my rear end? Wait till I find your stolen dog and bring him home again Call me nuts, call me weird, double-jointed, wildly loud I’ll take a spear to both thighs and still walk out proud [Spoken Dramatically] A RE HE HE HE HEELY.... [Chorus] It’s Ace on the case, ears back, eyes open wide If it barks, chirps, or swims, there ain't a place it can hide I'm not a suit, no badge, fanny pack ferret on my hip Bumblebee tuna! Yeah, life's quite the trip [Verse] I’m checking pinky rings, looking for the missing stone Sneaking through the compound while the owner isn't home Spitting out the gum, sliding across the hardwood floor If you mess with animal life, I’m bursting through the door Got a parrot on my shoulder and a squirrel in my sleeve I do the warm leatherette dance just to make the fakes leave I don't need a search warrant, I got animal instinct Solving crimes while the precinct is sitting there blinked Einhorn is Finkle, Finkle is Einhorn—boom, case closed Plunger to the face, leaving all the dirty secrets exposed Lay'hoo, zay'err [Chorus] It’s Ace on the case, ears back, eyes open wide If it barks, chirps, or swims, there ain't a place it can hide I'm not a suit, no badge, fanny pack ferret on my hip Bumblebee tuna! Yeah, life's quite the trip [Bridge] I’m the guy who’ll dive headfirst into a tank for clues, Swim with sharks, dodge guards, ruin perfectly good shoes. I’ll talk a pigeon off a ledge, calm a ferret mid‑attack, Then sprint across a rooftop with an animal on my back. I’ve been kicked, flipped, tripped, hit with tranquilizer darts, But I still solve crimes faster than a precinct full of charts. If the trail goes cold, I heat it up with pure bravado, ’Cause I’m Ace Ventura, baby — justice is my motto. [Chorus] It’s Ace on the case, ears back, eyes open wide If it barks, chirps, or swims, there ain't a place it can hide I'm not a suit, no badge, fanny pack ferret on my hip Bumblebee tuna! Yeah, life's quite the trip [Outro] Yeah... hit the brakes, reverse it! If you lost a pink flamingo or a rare tropical snake, you know who to call. Just don't make me go to the jungle again... those darts really hurt. Chik-chika-chik... Re-e-e-e-eel-ee cool!
