No One’s Quiet Pride

I was good, wasn’t I? Held my tongue, wore the dress, kept the peace Tried to make myself so damn easy to love By cutting off pieces of me Been told wisdom comes with time But all your time did was teach me to hide And I tried— God, I tried— To be that good girl in their eyes But I’m no one’s quiet pride Not those folded hands, not that perfect lie I have been breaking politely My whole damn life (Whole damn life) I’m still good— I’m still good— Wish that girl in the mirror understood I’m no one’s quiet pride. Smiled for the camera lights Bit my tongue til I tasted shame When they called it grace But grace never felt like shifting blame I learned every part to play (Daughter), leader, (singer), saint with a stoic face But somewhere under all that praise I forgot the sound my own voice made And I lied— God, I lied— Said I was fine till I believed that line But I’m nobody’s soft little prize Not those clasped hands, not that polished lie I’ve been coming apart so neatly All my life I’m still here— I’m still here— Wish my reflection woulda made that clear But I’m no one’s quiet pride. How many rooms did I read before I exhaled? How many smiles did I wear even when I failed? How many times did I swallow the truth Just so this was easier for you And I know— God, I know— You liked me better when I toed that line But I’m done— i'm so done— Being loved In the way you define I won’t keep bleeding just to keep you warm I won’t stay pretty while I’m being torn I won’t call it kindness while I disappear I won’t kill myself Cuz you shed a single tear Cuz I’m no one’s quiet pride— Cuz I’m no one’s quiet pride Not those folded hands, not that perfect lie I’ve been coming apart so neatly (My whole damn life!) My whole damn life! (whole damn life!) (whole damn life!) I’m nobody’s soft little prize Not those clasped hands, not that polished lie I’m still here— I’m still here— Can I see my reflection through all this fear I’m still good— I’m still good— I'll say it even if the whole damn world never could I’m no one’s quiet pride. I was good, wasn’t I? I’m still good…