[Verse] Oh Evan grew quick under the Tutelage of the Burbridge gang, They taught him to hold hot coals, Grab angry snakes by the fang. They taught him to mount and ride The mighty armadillo! To sleep on top of angry bobcats, And use a cactus as a pillow. [Bridge] Oh oh if it ain't clear, These dastardly cow folk, Taught old Evan Burbridge... Wrong lessons as a joke! [Chorus] But our poor boy Evan He hadn't a clue. They were the only family he'd ever had. And would do as they said to do! [Verse] Then one day they told him, As he had just turned 10. It was finally the day, For himself he'd learn to fend! They gave him a map, And two bullets for his gun. Told him a wild tale of magic, And reveled in the fun! [Bridge] "Son, you're brave enough now, From eating all them lizards. Now go on this eldritch quest, And kill you that damn wizard." [Chorus] But our poor boy Evan He hadn't a clue. They were the only family he'd ever had. And would do as they said to do! [Verse] Evan folded the map, Packed his saddle bags up fine. And with dignity and poise, Said "That Wizard I'll Make Mine" [Outro] Oh oh he rode off into the sunset! On the solemn quest he was after. While the Burbridge Gang behind him. Broke down in tearful laughter
