The Pixie and the Giant

[Style: Fast, upbeat folk metal; same powerful female folk singer and humorous fantasy universe. Galloping metal guitars, fiddle, mandolin, whistles, pounding drums and huge tavern singalong choruses. Romantic, ridiculous and triumphant. Extended dueling electric guitar and violin solo.] [Verse 1 – Female Folk Vocal] In a meadow by the mountains where the silver rivers run, Lived a pixie named Petunia, barely taller than your thumb, She had wings of blue and violet and a laugh like tiny bells, And a habit of enchanting unsuspecting woodland elves. Then one morning came a giant, twenty-seven feet in height, With a beard like tangled brambles and a heart both warm and bright, He bent down to smell the flowers— She flew straight into his nose! He sneezed her halfway to the moon… And thus their romance rose! [Pre-Chorus] She was tiny! He was tall! Love apparently cares not at all! She kissed his nose, he blushed bright red— And soon the happy couple wed! [Chorus – Huge Tavern Singalong] OH! THE PIXIE AND THE GIANT! What a strange and lovely pair! She could sleep inside his pocket, He could lose her in his hair! OH! THE PIXIE AND THE GIANT! Love can conquer any size! When she whispered, “Darling, kiss me,” He just squinted both his eyes! [Verse 2] They bought a cottage in the valley— Well, technically they bought two: One enormous house for him And hers was underneath his shoe. But soon they dreamed of children, Little bundles they could raise, And that’s when certain questions Left them puzzled several days. They consulted ancient wizards, They consulted witches three, They consulted one old druid Who just slowly climbed a tree. Then a healer cleared his throat and said, “There IS another way…” “In vitro!” They stared blankly. He said, “It’s complicated. Just… okay?” [Chorus] OH! THE PIXIE AND THE GIANT! What a strange and lovely pair! She could sleep inside his pocket, He could lose her in his hair! OH! THE PIXIE AND THE GIANT! Let the fiddles fill the skies! Science, magic, love and luck— And questionable advice! [Instrumental Break – Dueling Guitar & Violin] [Violin begins with a playful, lightning-fast folk melody] [Electric guitar answers with a soaring neoclassical phrase] [Violin responds with rapid dancing arpeggios] [Guitar answers with sweep-picked runs and harmonized leads] [Rapid guitar/violin call-and-response accelerates] [Mandolin and pounding drums join underneath] [Guitar and violin explode into a blazing synchronized finale] [Verse 3] Nine months later came the morning, Every bell began to ring, The healer ran into the courtyard shouting, “WE’VE GOT… A THING!” First appeared a bouncing daughter With bright wings and pointed ears— A PIXIE! Except she stood twelve feet tall. The giant burst in tears. Then came their little baby boy, A giant strong and proud, With massive boots and giant beard And an earth-shaking voice— Quite loud. But when they placed him in his crib, The midwife scratched her chin. This mighty son of giant-kind… Was only three inches. [Breakdown – Half-Time] A twelve-foot pixie! [Gang Vocals] SHE CAN’T FIT IN A FLOWER! A three-inch giant! [Gang Vocals] BUT HE’S GOT GIANT POWER! He lifts a spoon above his head! She sneezes hurricanes! Their parents look upon them both… And proudly shout— “THEY’RE SANE!” [Brief Pause] [Female Vocal] “…Relatively.” [Final Chorus – Double-Time] OH! THE PIXIE AND THE GIANT! Raise your tankards, raise them high! For their daughter shakes the mountains Every time she tries to fly! OH! THE PIXIE AND THE GIANT! And their tiny giant son! He’ll challenge any dragon— If somebody lifts him up! OH! THE PIXIE AND THE GIANT! Let the whole damn kingdom sing! Love created something strange— BUT WHAT A GLORIOUS THING! [Huge Folk-Metal Finale] [Violin and Guitar Unison Run] [Final Hit] [Female Vocal, spoken] “Has anyone seen the boy?” [Tiny Deep Voice] “I’M DOWN HERE!”