[Verse 1] Another sleepless Gotham night, Moon so bright, no Bat-Signal light. Robin said, "I'm bored to death..." Then dumped a thousand LEGOs across the steps. Alfred yawned, "I've had enough. Good evening, sirs... don't break my stuff." Two scotches down, neat over ice, He winked and said, "Sleep would be nice." [Pre-Chorus] The cave went quiet... all seemed well. Then somebody heard that plastic yell... [Chorus] Those little bricks are agents of pain, Every superhero knows their name. One wrong step and down you go, Even legends holler, "NOOO!" Holy LEGOs, what a sight, Nobody's winning here tonight. [Verse 2] Suit geared up, it's time to roll, Crime don't stop for aching soles. Batman hit the starter switch... Nothing happened. Not a twitch. Alfred stumbled with greasy hands, "Master Bruce... slight change of plans. Changed the flux... or maybe the belt... Truth be told... I kinda smelt..." "...like twelve-year-old Scotch." The Batmobile sat on jack stands, Wrenches scattered where he planned. "I thought I'd tune her through the night..." Then burped and said, "...she'll be alright." [Bridge] Robin grinned with keys held high. "Forget the tank... let's electrify!" A silent launch, no roaring V8, Zero to sixty before the gate. The cape flapped hard in the window breeze, Batman whispered, "...heated seats?" [Verse 3] Across the bridge stood Two-Face there, Flipping his coin into the air. He laughed, "Well now... this changes things. No jet engine, no turbine scream." "I kinda love that Tesla ride... Instant torque? I'm on your side!" "But honestly, Bruce, it's somewhat tragic... How am I supposed to outrun... magic?" "No Batmobile? That feels unfair!" [Final Chorus] Robin's Tesla saved the night, Silent as a shadow taking flight. Alfred snored till half past ten, Dreaming he'd fix that car again. Two-Face cheered then shook his head, "I miss the chase," the villain said. Batman smiled despite the pain... "Tomorrow we're buying LEGO bins." [Outro] Some heroes have super strength. Some have billion-dollar toys. Some have electric cars... ...and some should never let Alfred wrench on the Batmobile after two fingers of Scotch on the rocks.
