Vernet Vets - The Richest Loot Pile in Town

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(Music Intro: A lone, jaunty accordion plays a sea shanty tune. It's suddenly cut short by a massive, chugging guitar riff and pounding drums. A 4/4 stomping beat begins.)

(Verse 1 - Call and response. Gravelly lead singer (LEAD) is answered by a rowdy, jeering crew (CREW).)

(LEAD): Saw a lad in a bright pink ghillie!
(CREW): Paid twenty bucks to look so silly!
(LEAD): On a rooftop actin' brave and chilly!
(CREW): 'Til my bumper changed his mind!

(LEAD): Thought his fancy scope would surely kill me!
(CREW): His aim was bad and his hands were frilly!
(LEAD): Now his rifle's bent all willy-nilly!
(CREW): Wrapped around his own behind!

(Chorus - All together! A loud, chaotic, and viciously cheerful gang-vocal chant.)
Heave ho, you clumsy, useless bot!
A skid mark where you got too hot!
Heave ho, you should've stayed in spawn!
You're just a wet patch on the lawn!
HEY! Your precious loadout's scattered 'round,
The richest loot pile in the town!

(Verse 2 - The jeering continues, targeting a different type of player.)

(LEAD): Heard a squad who were stackin' doorways!
(CREW): Talkin' tactics but they fight in poor ways!
(LEAD): Drove my buggy through their little hallways!
(CREW): Sent 'em to the Gulag line!

(LEAD): They say that slide-cancel still pays!
(CREW): But not when four steel tires graze!
(LEAD): Now I'm takin' all their custom Blue Jays!
(CREW): That pretty blueprint's all MINE!

(Chorus - Even louder, faster, and more unhinged.)
Heave ho, you clumsy, useless bot!
A skid mark where you got too hot!
Heave ho, you should've stayed in spawn!
You're just a wet patch on the lawn!
HEY! Your precious loadout's scattered 'round,
The richest loot pile in the town!

(Bridge - The music drops to a heavy, menacing stomp-clap beat. The lead singer speaks/chants the lines like a taunt.)
"Your plates are cracked!"
(STOMP-CLAP!)
"Your spirit's broken!"
(STOMP-CLAP!)
"That final curse was never spoken!"
(STOMP-CLAP!)
"So watch the killcam, learn your lesson..."
(A moment of silence, then a low chuckle)
"It's Newton's Law: Buggy versus Person!"

(Guitar & Fiddle Solo - An absolutely blistering guitar solo duels with a frantic, demonic-sounding fiddle, building into pure chaos.)

(Final Chorus - Maximum energy, everyone screaming the lyrics triumphantly.)
HEAVE HO, YOU CLUMSY, USELESS BOT!
A SKID MARK WHERE YOU GOT TOO HOT!
HEAVE HO, YOU SHOULD'VE STAYED IN SPAWN!
YOU'RE JUST A WET PATCH ON THE LAWN!
HEY! YOUR PRECIOUS LOADOUT'S SCATTERED 'ROUND,
THE RICHEST LOOT PILE IN THE TOWN!

(Outro - The music cuts out. We hear the sounds of gear being looted, armor plates being equipped, and a can of something opening with a hiss. Raucous laughter.)

(A drunken voice mutters) "Heh... think he was a streamer?"

(A final, triumphant car HONK.)

2773/7500

(Music Intro: A lone, jaunty accordion plays a sea shanty tune. It's suddenly cut short by a massive, chugging guitar riff and pounding drums. A 4/4 stomping beat begins.) (Verse 1 - Call and response. Gravelly lead singer (LEAD) is answered by a rowdy, jeering crew (CREW).) (LEAD): Saw a lad in a bright pink ghillie! (CREW): Paid twenty bucks to look so silly! (LEAD): On a rooftop actin' brave and chilly! (CREW): 'Til my bumper changed his mind! (LEAD): Thought his fancy scope would surely kill me! (CREW): His aim was bad and his hands were frilly! (LEAD): Now his rifle's bent all willy-nilly! (CREW): Wrapped around his own behind! (Chorus - All together! A loud, chaotic, and viciously cheerful gang-vocal chant.) Heave ho, you clumsy, useless bot! A skid mark where you got too hot! Heave ho, you should've stayed in spawn! You're just a wet patch on the lawn! HEY! Your precious loadout's scattered 'round, The richest loot pile in the town! (Verse 2 - The jeering continues, targeting a different type of player.) (LEAD): Heard a squad who were stackin' doorways! (CREW): Talkin' tactics but they fight in poor ways! (LEAD): Drove my buggy through their little hallways! (CREW): Sent 'em to the Gulag line! (LEAD): They say that slide-cancel still pays! (CREW): But not when four steel tires graze! (LEAD): Now I'm takin' all their custom Blue Jays! (CREW): That pretty blueprint's all MINE! (Chorus - Even louder, faster, and more unhinged.) Heave ho, you clumsy, useless bot! A skid mark where you got too hot! Heave ho, you should've stayed in spawn! You're just a wet patch on the lawn! HEY! Your precious loadout's scattered 'round, The richest loot pile in the town! (Bridge - The music drops to a heavy, menacing stomp-clap beat. The lead singer speaks/chants the lines like a taunt.) "Your plates are cracked!" (STOMP-CLAP!) "Your spirit's broken!" (STOMP-CLAP!) "That final curse was never spoken!" (STOMP-CLAP!) "So watch the killcam, learn your lesson..." (A moment of silence, then a low chuckle) "It's Newton's Law: Buggy versus Person!" (Guitar & Fiddle Solo - An absolutely blistering guitar solo duels with a frantic, demonic-sounding fiddle, building into pure chaos.) (Final Chorus - Maximum energy, everyone screaming the lyrics triumphantly.) HEAVE HO, YOU CLUMSY, USELESS BOT! A SKID MARK WHERE YOU GOT TOO HOT! HEAVE HO, YOU SHOULD'VE STAYED IN SPAWN! YOU'RE JUST A WET PATCH ON THE LAWN! HEY! YOUR PRECIOUS LOADOUT'S SCATTERED 'ROUND, THE RICHEST LOOT PILE IN THE TOWN! (Outro - The music cuts out. We hear the sounds of gear being looted, armor plates being equipped, and a can of something opening with a hiss. Raucous laughter.) (A drunken voice mutters) "Heh... think he was a streamer?" (A final, triumphant car HONK.)

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