You Should Have Been There

Verse 1 I was four years old with trembling hands Crying where the shadows stand Force-fed silence, force-fed fear No one came to pull me near Told I was ungrateful, loud Too much tears, too much now Curled up shaking on the floor Waiting by a locked front door Pre-Chorus Where were you When the monsters learned my name? Where were you When the house went up in flames? Chorus You should have been there You should have known A child can’t survive That kind of alone I was too young To carry that pain You should’ve been my shelter From the pouring rain Now I raise the little girl You left behind Holding her heart together One piece at a time But tell me— Why was I not enough? Why was loving me so hard? Verse 2 I was ten, eyes wide awake Learning every crack and shake Watching her fight ghosts unseen Hands swinging through broken dreams Growing older way too fast Trying just to make things last Every night I learned to hide Fear stitched tightly to my side Then eleven came like hell A story no child should ever tell Left alone to fight off hands While silence buried where I stand I learned survival, not my age How to disappear, how to cage Every scream beneath my skin Just to somehow make it through again Pre-Chorus Where were you When I needed someone strong? Where were you When everything went wrong? Chorus You should have been there You should have known A child can’t survive That kind of alone I was too young To battle those nights You should’ve stood beside me You should’ve fought that fight Now I raise the little girl Still trapped inside Teaching her she’s worthy After all this time But tell me— What did I do wrong? Why did nobody stay? Verse 3 I was eighteen, dropped off cold Suitcase shaking, trying to be bold “Go be whatever,” then left behind Still carrying chaos in my mind He was drunk and stoned and mean Anger crawling through the scene I said no, but learned too fast Sometimes surviving meant letting moments pass Every instinct screamed to run But fear can freeze you into none So I left my soul outside the door Just to make it through once more And where were you? Oh right— I was already painted wrong Called a whore before too long Just for being kind and warm Like somehow that invited harm Their sins stitched onto my name Their actions became all my shame And nobody ever turned around To ask why I was drowning, not making a sound Bridge I grew up fighting wars alone Building safety out of stone Learning love from fractured pieces Praying one day hurt releases And maybe part of me still aches For the father love should make But I know now what I couldn’t then— None of this was born from sin I was never hard to love Never too broken, never too much Just a little girl needing arms Instead of learning how to survive harm Final Chorus You should have been there But you disappeared And I spent my whole life Drowning in fear Still somehow I survived the storm Built my own safety Kept my own heart warm Now the little girl in me Finally knows She was never broken Just left alone And none of it— None of it was her fault No… none of it was her fault.