**“Where Y’all Go (Front Door Blues)”** *(Horns hit — upbeat Chicago shuffle)* **[Intro – spoken]** Alright now… This is Sir Charles speaking… I run security at this residence. And every morning… the people vanish. **[Verse 1]** Alarm clock ringing, sun ain’t even high Coffee starts brewing, I’m watchin’ with one eye Keys start jingling — now I’m fully awake That’s the sound of a very big mistake You put on shoes, I know what that means That ain’t house shoes… those are *leaving jeans* I plant my body right across the floor But y’all keep walkin’ to the front door **[Chorus]** Where y’all go when you leave this house? I checked the yard — you ain’t with the mouse I guard the couch, I patrol the street But you disappear and don’t take me with your feet Ohhh… Where y’all go when you leave me alone? *(Horns answer: bah-bah-bah-BAAAH)* **[Verse 2]** Ellie tip-toein’, sneakin’ past me slow I already know where that girl gon’ go Upstairs mission, serious business She ain’t ashamed, she just handles her fitness I bark once — that’s a courtesy call She look back like I ain’t there at all Meanwhile I’m still runnin’ point downstairs Tryna solve mysteries nobody shares **[Chorus]** Where y’all go when you leave this place? I checked every room, I sniffed every space I watched the window till my nose got cold This is a case that must be solved **[Bridge – spoken over bassline]** Now I considered: Mailman kidnapping. Squirrel conspiracy. Veterinarian involvement. Still no leads. **[Verse 3]** Phoenix stretchin’, tail goin’ fast Door finally shuts — investigation passed He flops right down like the shift is done Like, “Detective Charlie, you the only one.” He happy y’all gone, that dog got peace I’m runnin’ patrols, I cannot get sleep I pace the hallway, I check each sound Every car that passes, I spin around **[Break – horns and claps]** **[Final Chorus]** Where y’all go when you leave each day? I waited all morning, you still away I saved this house from absolutely nothin’ And you come home actin’ like it wasn’t somethin’ But I forgive you the second you’re seen… ‘Cause you got treats… and you smell like outside things. **[Outro – spoken soft]** I don’t know where you go… But you always come back. And I’ll be right here… Guarding the rug.
