Spent years out West Where the sagebrush grows Dust on my boots And the sun burns slow Learned how to live Where the rain stays rare Where you take one deep breath And there’s nothing in the air Got a training gig Headed Eastbound fast Pressed my shirt Thought I’d look first-class Plane door opened I stepped outside Felt like somebody threw A wet dog on my pride I said Lord is this weather Or a swimming pool The sky looked friendly But the air played cruel I’m still wet and I ain’t even sweating right Took a shower this morning Been damp since daylight Towel in my hand Dry shirt on my back But the air keeps climbing up My collar like an outlaw attack Yeah…I’m still wet Lord What kind of place is this You don’t walk through the weather You wrestle with the mist Out West I missed the rain Now I’m begging it to quit I’m still wet…soaking wet Walked from the hotel To the rental car Wasn’t even far Maybe twenty yards By the time I hit the door I looked like I’d run Three county lines In a jacket under noonday sun My glasses fogged My phone got slick My belt felt tight And my boots got sick I tried to breathe But that Georgia air Had the weight of a blanket And the grip of a bear I checked the forecast Said Eighty-two That sounds real nice Till the humidity gets you I’m still wet and I ain’t even sweating right Took a shower this morning Been damp since daylight Towel in my hand Dry shirt on my back The air keeps climbing up My collar like an outlaw attack Yeah…I’m still wet Lord what kind of place is this You don’t walk through the weather You wrestle with the mist Out West I missed the rain Now I’m begging it to quit I’m still wet…soaking wet Now listen Back home heat comes dry Like a blacktop stove You find some shade drink water Keep the truck rolling slow But down here The air got a full time job It follows you around Like a soaking wet mob Step out the shower Towel off clean Five seconds later Look like I dove in a stream Put on deodorant powder cologne Humidity said boy You ain’t leaving here alone Can’t tell if I’m breathing Or chewing the sky Can’t tell if it’s rain Or just sweat in my eye I came here for training I came here to teach But I’m learning how to swim Every time I breathe Still the people are good And the students are sharp And the Southern sun’s Got a big old heart So I’ll laugh at myself When the air turns thick Keep a cold drink close And a spare clean shirt in the rig I’m still wet but I’m having a good time Laughing at the weather While I’m walking that line Got a towel in the bag Got faith in my soul Got a Western man Melting in an Eastern bowl Yeah I’m still wet But I reckon I’ll survive Just trying to keep my hair From curling up alive When I fly back West I’ll kiss that desert grit Till then I’m still wet…soaking wet Humidity really does fight dirty No warning no referee And it wins the second You step off the plane Eastern humidity undefeated Heavyweight champion Of the atmosphere
