[Intro] (Funky bass line kicks in, followed by a bright synth swirl) (Group vocals: “Work that body! Move that body! RAID THAT BODY!”) [Verse 1] I’ve been swinging this laser-axe since 9 AM Leveling up, clearing rooms, doing it again The loot is heavy and the boss is down to half But there’s a rumble in my tummy, and it ain’t no laugh! My armor’s clanking, I’m sweating through the steel I gotta keep it real about the way I feel! [Pre-Chorus] The dragon’s breathing fire, but I’m feeling the heat I can’t keep rhythm with my dancing feet! The portal is open, the treasure is in sight But I’ve been holding back a different kind of fight! [Chorus] I’m an Arc Raider, baby, but I need a relief! (Hoo! Relief!) Gonna put down the shield, keep the session brief! I’ve raided the temple, I’ve raided the tomb But now I gotta raid the little boys' room! Don’t kick me from the party, don't leave me in the dark I just need five minutes to lose this spark! [Verse 2] The cleric’s shouting, “Hey, where you going, man?” I’m doing a gold-medal sprint as fast as I can! The potions are flowing, the mana is high But if I don’t find a stall, I’m gonna cry! Respect the bladder, respect the man I’m doing the best that a warrior can! [Bridge] (Spoken over the groove) Listen to me, party people... Even a hero needs a porcelain throne. Even a legend needs to wash his hands. I’m AFK... but I’m still with you in spirit. Hold the line! Hold the room! I’m coming back with a clean slate! [Guitar/Synth Solo] (Wild, psychedelic disco-funk solo) [Chorus] I’m an Arc Raider, baby, but I need a relief! (Hoo! Relief!) Gonna put down the shield, keep the session brief! I’ve raided the temple, I’ve raided the tomb But now I gotta raid the little boys' room! [Outro] (Group vocals chanting) RAID THE ROOM! (Check the stalls!) RAID THE ROOM! (Wash your hands!) Don’t be a hater, I’m an Arc Raider! I’ll be back for the boss! I’ll be back for the loot! Just let me... let me... (Sound of a heavy stone door closing) Flush! (Final brass stab)
