**[Intro]** Yeah... I don't think I'm sad anymore. I think I'm just... Numb. Like... What's the difference between healing and just getting used to the pain? **[Verse 1]** I stopped crying at the things that used to break me apart, Stopped explaining all the damage that was eating my heart, I can look somebody dead in the eyes and feel nothing, You could tell me that you love me and I still wouldn't trust it. I remember when I cared about every little detail, Now I'm watching everything around me like a movie in a jail cell, Everybody asking how I'm doing, I just tell 'em I'm straight, Truth is, I don't even know what the fuck I'm supposed to say. I got memories that used to make me smile, now they hurt, Got some people that I miss but I don't know what they're worth, Got a heart full of names and a head full of ghosts, Got a thousand different reasons I don't let nobody close. I built walls so high I forgot how to climb, Put a lock on every feeling and I swallowed the key, Now I'm standing in a room full of people I love, Wondering why I still feel like nobody's here with me. **[Pre-Hook]** I don't feel the pain... I don't feel the love... I don't feel the hate... I don't feel enough. **[Hook]** I'm dead inside, But I'm still alive, Still breathing, still bleeding, Just don't feel why. I'm dead inside, Got a heart on ice, Everything I loved Got buried somewhere in my mind. I'm dead inside... Tell me when I came alive. **[Verse 2]** Maybe I'm emotionally vacant, I mistake it for patience, Maybe all of this distance is a form of protection, Maybe every rejection left a permanent impression, Now I'm checking my reflection like, "Who the fuck is this person?" I got used to the losing, got accustomed to leaving, Got so good at pretending I don't care what I'm feeling, Every "forever" I heard turned eventually temporary, So I stopped putting faith in a word people use when they're scared. I became my own enemy, mentally, endlessly, Every memory's venom when it enters me, Questioning everything everybody ever said to me, Especially the ones who said they'd never fucking leave. Now I'm paranoid when somebody gets close, Because the people that I trusted became people I don't know, So I keep everybody distant and I call it being strong, When the truth is I'm terrified that I'll get attached and lose 'em. I don't wanna be this way, But I don't know another way, Every time I let somebody in, They give me another reason to change. **[Pre-Hook]** I don't feel the pain... I don't feel the love... I don't feel the hate... I don't feel enough. **[Hook]** I'm dead inside, But I'm still alive, Still breathing, still bleeding, Just don't feel why. I'm dead inside, Got a heart on ice, Everything I loved Got buried somewhere in my mind. I'm dead inside... Tell me when I came alive. **[Bridge]** Maybe there's still something underneath all this... Maybe I buried it too deep. Maybe I'm not heartless. Maybe I'm just tired. **[Final Verse]** I still make music, so maybe there's a pulse in me, Still chase dreams, so maybe there's a hope in me, Still get angry, so there's gotta be a soul in me, Still love my people, even if I don't show it openly. Maybe being numb isn't the end of the story, Maybe pain ain't the only thing that made me, Maybe all of these scars are reminders I'm human, And the fact that I feel nothing means I'm finally exhausted. I've spent so many years trying to outrun what I felt, Turned the pain into bars, put the bars on a shelf, Made an album out of everything I couldn't confess, Now I'm staring at the mirror trying to figure out what's left. And maybe that's why I'm writing this shit... Not because I'm dead. Because somewhere underneath all this numbness... I still wanna feel something. **[Final Hook]** I'm dead inside, But I'm still alive, Still breathing, still bleeding, Still searching for why. I'm dead inside, But there's fire in my eyes, Maybe everything I buried Ain't completely fucking died. I'm dead inside... But I'm still here. Still here... Still here. **[Outro]** Maybe that's enough for tonight. I'm still here.
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