[Intro — Spoken, Deadpan] I tried to care. Terrible decision. Would not recommend. Janet has entered the chat. [Verse 1 — Fast Rap-Rock] Janet came hot like a microwave fork, Mouth in drive but the brain still parked. I said, “Site ain’t ready, this could go bad,” She said, “Not your concern,” with her clipboard ass. Oh okay, cool, let the dumpster hum, Let the freight roll in while the wheels go dumb. I’m calm on the phone, she’s chewing drywall, Acting like volume makes a point at all. Wouldn’t let me talk, wouldn’t let me breathe, Just barking through the line like a stressed-out leaf. I tried to save the product, tried to save the day, But Janet had a tantrum in a business-casual way. You want it shipped? Fine. Let’s make that burn. Put a bow on the box marked Not My Concern. [Pre-Chorus — Punchy] I brought facts, she brought fumes, I brought warnings, she brought doom. I brought logic, she brought churn, Then called it all not my concern. [Chorus — Big Hook] Janet, Janet, Janet — not my concern, You lit the match, now watch it burn. Janet, Janet, Janet — you wanted it shipped, Now don’t make that face when the wheels fall off it. Damned if I hold it, damned if I don’t, Damned if I warn you, damned if I won’t. Janet, Janet, Janet — please take your turn, At the front desk labeled “Not My Concern.” [Post-Chorus — Chant] Not my, not my, not my concern. Janet got loud and the shipment got burned. Not my, not my, not my concern. Somebody get Janet a bridge to burn. [Verse 2 — Faster / Ruder] Boss said, “Ship it, don’t hold back freight,” So caution got tossed like a gas station plate. Nine P.M. GC said, “Send it, we’re ready,” Next day sober said, “Wait, who said that? Not me.” Sir, your drunk little keyboard committed the crime, Check your sent box and hydrate next time. Drunk-mail courage, sober confusion, Construction’s favorite magic delusion. Everybody pointing like a Spider-Man meme, Whole job site running on caffeine and steam. I warned you once, then I warned you twice, But Janet was busy being loud and precise. Then they said, “Well, Janet has two kids,” Congratulations, Janet, so do half of us in this business. That excuse hit nasty, let’s not pretend, Hardworking moms don’t use kids as a shield to defend. My kid was sick while she threw that fit, But I still kept calm and swallowed that spit. So spare me the sermon, spare me the turn, You said it yourself — not my concern. [Pre-Chorus 2 — Meaner] You yelled first, then blamed last, That’s a talent, Janet — moving real fast. You made the mess, then watched it churn, Then asked who spilled it? Not my concern. [Chorus — Bigger] Janet, Janet, Janet — not my concern, You lit the match, now watch it burn. Janet, Janet, Janet — you wanted it shipped, Now don’t make that face when the wheels fall off it. Damned if I hold it, damned if I don’t, Damned if I warn you, damned if I won’t. Janet, Janet, Janet — please take your turn, At the front desk labeled “Not My Concern.” [Bridge — Dark Filthy Sarcasm Breakdown] Janet brought thunder, GC brought smoke. He typed “ship it” at night, Then woke up and choked. “Who said ready?” Buddy, your fingers did. Maybe next time don’t schedule freight After your third grown-up juice box, kid. Janet said, “Not your problem,” Then made it my plate. That ain’t logistics, sweetheart, That’s emotional freight. She yelled like a raccoon In a conference room trash can, Then wanted grace served hot In a little blame pan. And bless her heart deeply, From the bottom of the mud, She weaponized concern After dragging mine through the crud. [Final Chorus — Full Chaos] Janet, Janet, Janet — not my concern, You lit the match, now watch it burn. Janet, Janet, Janet — you wanted it shipped, Now don’t make that face when the wheels fall off it. Damned if I hold it, damned if I don’t, Damned if I care when you told me I won’t. Janet, Janet, Janet — please take your turn, At the front desk labeled “Not My Concern.” [Outro — Spoken, Cold] Thank you for calling Janet Logistics. Your concern is very important to us. Please hold while we ignore it, ship it anyway, and blame you tomorrow. Not. My. Concern.
