[Intro] (Weird breathing noises, clearing throat loudly) (Strange, eccentric male voice) Yeah. It's me. The undisputed king of... absolutely nothing. Check this out. Do not laugh. [Slow Gangster Rap Verse] (Slow, heavy 90s boom bap beat, dark and moody) (Deep, weird, exaggerated gangster voice, lazy flow) I walk under the streetlights, looking real tough Stealing cookies from the jar, yeah I can't get enough My posture is terrible, my knees always crack But when I hit the club, I'm drinking juice from a pack. Yeah. Real slow. Real dangerous. [Build-Up] (Voice suddenly changes pitch) Wait a minute. This is too slow. Speed it up. SPEED IT UP! [Fast Chopper Rap Verse] (Fast aggressive trap beat instantly drops) (Hilariously fast, breathless, chaotic rap) I-be-running-down-the-block-like-a-maniac-in-socks Taking-over-every-city-with-a-pocket-full-of-rocks Never-stopping-never-dropping-I'm-the-fastest-in-the-room Sweeping-up-the-competition-like-a-ninja-with-a-broom! Rap-rap-rapid-fire-spitting-like-a-dragon-on-a-wire You-can-try-to-catch-me-but-I'm-only-going-higher! Woo! [Chorus] (Catchy, weird, upbeat Hip Hop) (Quirky male voice singing terribly but confidently) I'm the weirdest in the game! No one even knows my name! I rap slow, then I rap fast! Always running out of gas! [Slow Gangster Rap Verse 2] (Beat suddenly drops back to slow heavy boom bap instantly) (Deep weird gangster voice) Yeah. We back. Back in the slow lane. Driving twenty miles per hour... in a fifty zone. Thug life. Counting pennies at the supermarket... taking my time. [Fast Chopper Rap Verse 2] (Beat speeds up instantly into chaos!) (Frantic fast rap) Skipping-the-line-at-the-bakery-stealing-all-the-cakes Never-making-any-sense-look-at-all-the-moves-I-make Blah-blah-blah-I'm-spitting-words-I-don't-even-understand I'm-the-wildest-weirdest-craziest-rapper-in-the-land! [Outro] (Beat stops strangely) (Panting and breathing heavily) (Weird voice, exhausted) I need... an inhaler. Peace. (Microphone drops with feedback)
