🎶 Verse 1 I was flippin’ cardboard dreams in a ziplock bag Trading Charizards for gas and a paper tag Hit five shops, got stiffed at four Then some dude in a lemur hat locked the door ⸻ 🎶 Pre-Chorus They said, “You’ve got the face for a tragic tree,” Next thing I know I’m a possum in Scene 3 Tinfoil forest, duct tape crown I blinked once — they drove me outta town ⸻ 🎶 Chorus Now I’m stuck in a parking lot growling in felt Missed my cue while my fake whiskers melt They said, “Break a leg,” but I broke my trust Left in a lion suit in a van full of dust I’m not bitter, I’m just… Okay, yeah, I’m bitter — but I look fabulous. ⸻ 🎶 Verse 2 I had a foil Blastoise and a busted knee Screaming “Stage betrayal!” to a vending machine They told the cast I bit the lead All I did was sneeze and spill some beads ⸻ 🎶 Pre-Chorus They rolled the dice and changed my lines Swapped my roar for “moo” about thirty times Said I couldn’t dance, said I smelled like glue But guess who’s on the poster in aisle two? ⸻ 🎶 Chorus (repeat) Now I’m stuck in a parking lot growling in felt Missed my cue while my fake whiskers melt They said, “Break a leg,” but I broke my trust Left in a lion suit in a van full of dust I’m not bitter, I’m just… Okay, yeah, I’m bitter — but I look fabulous. ⸻ 🎶 Bridge If I ever see that costume crew again I’ll mail ‘em glitter bombs and booster packs of revenge One starred me on the cast list app So I hexed their scripts with a misprint trap ⸻ 🎶 Final Chorus (big sing-along version) Yeah I’m stuck in a parking lot roarin’ in shame But my mane’s on point, so who’s really to blame? They said “method act,” now I’m method lost Traded my pride for a prop that cost $3.99 and a chase card soul Still fabulous. Still outta control.
