Laugh Track in My Head

_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._😂👉😢👈😂_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._ I smile too fast, crack, snap, collapse Joke on my lips, heart in relapse Cute little mess in a glittering trap Cry then laugh, laugh then *snap* I’m fine, I’m fine, I say it on time Underline, overline, punchline decline Mood swings ping-pong, ding-dong brain Same old pain in a new font, same _.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._😂👉😢👈😂_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._ "tick!" "tock!" counting my flaws "ha!" "ha!" audience applause I slip on my thoughts, pratfall pride Dark joke lands, I die inside Sarcasm stacked, packed, back-to-back Quip on quip on panic attack Deadpan grin, chin up, mascara war If life’s a joke then I want a refund, encore _.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._😂👉😢👈😂_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._ "zap!" "zip!" mouth runs wild Inside I’m tired, mildly feral child I joke about ghosts ‘cause I haunt myself Put my self-worth on the highest shelf _.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._😂👉😢👈😂_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._ Self-deprecate, decorate, detonate Laugh so loud you can’t hear me break I rhyme my trauma, comma, drama, llama Spit punchlines like “haha, karma” "ding!" "ding!" sleighbells in my head Festive despair, tinsel dread Ho-ho-hopeless but cute in black Wrap my sadness up gift-wrap snack _.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._😂👉😢👈😂_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._ I flirt with doom, broom, sweep it neat Make grief wear glitter and dance to the beat Say “I’m good” good-good-good-good-good If I repeat it enough maybe it’s true _.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._😂👉😢👈😂_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._ "click!" "clack!" thoughts ricochet Joke too sharp, cut my way I’m the punchline, front-row seat Laugh track loops while I quietly bleed Dark humor halo, angel with a smirk If I don’t laugh first, the silence will hurt So I rhyme and I rhyme till the ache feels small If I make you laugh, did I win at all? _.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._😂👉😢👈😂_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._ "shh!" "hah!" curtain call Bow to the void, wink at the fall Melancholy queen in a glittery mess Say it’s a joke— but don’t quote me on that, yes. _.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._😂👉😢👈😂_.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._