In a dusty hall, 'neath a flickering light, We were cramming Latin, all through the night. Declensions and cases, a cerebral maze, Lost in the grammar of ancient days. [Clean, operatic male vocal] We found an old text, bound in leather and dread, "A simple summoning," the chapter heading read. We gathered in a circle, a candle our guide, With nothing but coffee and foolish pride. [Chorus] IGNIS! TENEBRAE! VOCAMUS TE! EXAUDI NOS, O, INFERNI REX! VENI, VENI! POTESTAS ET LEX! SURGIT FIGURA EX FUMO ET NEX! [Verse 2] The floorboards trembled, the candle flame grew, A crimson mist rising, something brand new. A figure appeared, with horns and a tail, We screamed in sheer terror, our courage did fail. She cleared his throat loudly, a sound like grinding stones, And spoke with a voice shaking our very bones: "I came all this way, through the sulfur and dread... Your pronunciation is a tragedy!" she said. [Chorus] IGNIS! TENEBRAE! VOCAMUS TE! EXAUDI NOS, O, INFERNI REX! VENI, VENI! POTESTAS ET LEX! SURGIT FIGURA EX FUMO ET NEX! [Bridge] "You said 'VOH-ca-mus'! It's 'wo-KAH-moos', you fools! Did you learn nothing in your pathetic schools? That 'V' is a 'W', a classical fact! Your caesura's a mess, and your meter is cracked! And 'Rex'? You pronounce it like some modern peasant! The 'R' should be rolled! Make the sound more unpleasant! It's 'RRRREX'! With conviction! With fury and might! Now say it again, and this time say it right!" [Guitar Solo] [Technical and melodic] Chorus IGNIS! TENEBRAE! VOCAMUS TE! (NO, 'WO-KAH-MOOS'!) EXAUDI NOS, O, INFERNI REX! (RRROLL THE 'R'!) VENI, VENI! POTESTAS ET LEX! SURGIT FIGURA EX FUMO ET NEX! [Outro] "Okay... from the top. Ablative absolute. ...Go." [End]
