Intro | accordion solo | dramatic | overdramatic Italian narrator voice | immediately ridiculous] In a world where nothing makes sense And everything is a vending machine There arose a legend A duck A snack A problem [Verse 1 | fast silly rap | cartoon boing SFX | duck quack on every other bar | accordion beneath] Quackini Snackini rolled into town Pink and blue vending machine from the crown Full of Easter eggs nobody asked for Quacked at the principal — walked through the door Stole every lunch from the whole middle school Put them in the machine and said that's the rule The kids were confused — the staff were dismayed Quackini Snackini just quacked and got paid [Pre-Chorus | call and response | narrator vs Quackini | coin sound effect on each response] Who took the lunches? (QUACK!) Who broke the machine? (QUACK!) Who has no explanation? (QUACK QUACK QUACK!) [Chorus | full band drop | bass drop | vending machine coin sound | xylophone run | duck choir] Quackini Snackini! Duck in a vending machine! Quackini Snackini! Nobody knows what this means! Selling you Easter eggs — nobody wants them Quacking so loud that the principal's lost it Quackini Snackini! The most unhinged bird you've seen! (QUACK!) [Post-Chorus | 8-bit glitch | tuba BLAAAAT | then silence | then one quack] ... (quack.) [Verse 2 | Spyder Elephant enters | web-spinning elephant chaos | dramatic reveal music sting] Then Spyder Elephant swung through the hall Half elephant body — eight legs on the wall Spun a enormous web near the gym Nobody knows what to do about him He wrapped up the vending machine nice and tight Quackini Snackini quacked left and quacked right The web kept expanding — the tuba went BLAAAAT — Spyder Elephant sat on the principal's hat [Spongini Quackini verse | sponge duck arrives | bubbles SFX | absorbent energy] Then Spongini Quackini oozed through the door A sponge duck — don't ask — we've been here before Absorbed all the chaos immediately then Squeezed it back out on the faculty again Thirteen thousand dollars per second they say Which explains why the school couldn't afford today The sponge and the spider and the vending machine duck All looked at each other and said — What the— [Pre-Chorus | everyone joins | overlapping chaos | xylophone spiraling] Who made this happen? (QUACK! SQUISH! THWUMP!) Who's gonna fix it? (QUACK! SQUISH! THWUMP!) Does anyone understand anything at all? (NO!) [Chorus | bigger | all characters quacking and squishing and thumping together] Quackini Snackini! Duck in a vending machine! Quackini Snackini! Nobody knows what this means! Spongini is soaking it — Spyder's still spinning — Quackula showed up and also is winning — Quackini Snackini! The most unhinged bird you've seen! (QUACK!) [Bridge | Quackula arrives | vampire duck | overdramatic organ sting | fangs out | wings flapping] Then from the Egg City — deep in the mist — A vampire bat duck that nobody missed Quackula descended with red flapping wings Bit the vending machine and just — did some things Nobody saw what exactly occurred But the Easter eggs multiplied — that's what I heard And somewhere in the chaos a legend was born — Three ducks and a spider at 7 AM on a Thursday morning [Bombombini Gusini cameo | explosion sound | arrives for no reason | leaves immediately] Bombombini Gusini exploded nearby (Why?) Nobody knows (Okay.) He left. [Final Chorus | everything simultaneously | all characters | all sound effects | complete beautiful chaos | maximum energy] Quackini Snackini! Duck in a vending machine! Spyder Elephant! Eight legs and a dream! Spongini Quackini! Soaking up the scene! Quackula flying! (Nobody knows what this means!) We're dancing and quacking Through chaos and fog! This is the brainrot — This is the blog — Quackini Snackini! The most unhinged bird you've seen! (QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK!) [Outro | accordion alone | slow | dignified | then one last coin drop | then quack | then silence] And so the vending machine duck Returned to Egg City As mysteriously as he came The school got new lunches The web was removed And Spyder Elephant Was never seen again ...probably. [COIN SOUND] (quack.) [silence]
