The Bingo Board — 2026 [A1] GoGo × Shame [B1] Klezmer × Thirst [C1] Mongolian Throat Singing × Entropy [D1] Instrumental Only × Aerobics [E1] Native American Flute × Democracy [F1] Hopera × Mushroom / Fungi [A2] Rap × Nature [B2] Delta Blues × Dark Ages [C2] Grand Country × Uplifting [D2] Motown × Awakening [E2] Surf Rock × Surrealism [F2] Accordion × Train Hopping [A3] Chap Hop × Muscle Flex [B3] Witch House × Shed Your Burden [C3] Ska × Conflict [D3] Cyberpunk × Transmittable [E3] Groove Metal × Gnomes [F3] Wonky × Ice Cream [A4] Yacht Rock × Love [B4] Screamo × Bubblegum [C4] Fado Phonk × Africa Language [D4] Electronic Dance × 42 [E4] R&B Funk × Banana Split [F4] Skweee × Dating [A5] Lo-fi Indie Pop × Cheating Death [B5] Krautgaze Drone Rock × Heartbreak [C5] Balkan Folk × Transformation [D5] NeoFolk × Hardship [E5] Classical Music × Bird [F5] Alternative Rock × Courage [A6] Harpsichord Symphonic Metal × Faith [B6] Vocal Only / Acapella × Hope [C6] Ballad × Seduction [D6] Psychedelic Newgrass × Philosophy [E6] Yodeling × High Fantasy [F6] Punkrock × Awkward Fathers ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Intro] [Instrumental — heavy groove metal riff, slow and thunderous] [Verse 1] Pass the roast, pour the wine Another evening with the finest minds We gnomes have gathered, as we do To speak the truth that others never knew The elves think beauty wins the day (They do!) The dwarves believe it's gold that paves the way (It's not!) The hobbits eat and call it culture (Ha!) But none of them slew the Ridge Dragon of Kulthar! [Pre-Chorus] That was Gerald — third cousin with his bad knee Took it down with a spoon and sheer dignity (A SPOON!) [Chorus] Short and mighty, short and mighty We've done things that legends won't believe Short and mighty, short and mighty Pour another round and let me tell you what I mean [Verse 2] Remember when we rerouted the river Braum? (We did!) Twelve of us, one rope and a very large thumb The elves said it couldn't be done (They always do!) We did it in an afternoon — before lunch! And the Battle of the Mossy Hill (Oh yes!) Forty gnomes against a troll with questionable skill He tripped on Bertram's hat and fell (He did!) We've dined on that story for thirty years [Pre-Chorus] Bertram still gets free drinks for that Though he was mostly just standing there, as a matter of fact (BERTRAM!) [Chorus] Short and mighty, short and mighty We've done things that legends won't believe Short and mighty, short and mighty Pour another round and let me tell you what I mean [Bridge] [Groove drops to a single heavy riff — solemn, mock-heroic] Let the elves have their forests Let the dwarves have their gold Let the hobbits have their seven meals We have something greater We have stories And we will tell them Until every last one of you Goes home [Final Chorus] Short and mighty, short and mighty The greatest race this world has ever seen Short and mighty, short and mighty — ... En don't ya ferget it! [Outro] [Groove fades, sound of chairs scraping, someone knocking over a cup] Right then — same time next week? (AYE!) [Door closes] [Single heavy guitar chord] [End] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Groove Metal anthem delivered by an unreliable narrator — one very confident gnome holding court at a dinner party, regaling his companions with tales of gnomish greatness that grow more improbable with every verse. The Ridge Dragon of Kulthar. The rerouting of the river Braum. The legendary Battle of the Mossy Hill, in which Bertram mostly just stood there. No resolution, no character growth, no lessons learned — just gnomes getting progressively more convinced of their own magnificence before going home. The heavy, swaggering groove metal riff is the perfect backdrop for a race that takes itself extremely seriously. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- © 2026 Ande Records Lyrics by Ande All rights reserved. https://ande-records.se/
