A Rhino and Hennessy

[Intro — distorted guitars, muddy bass, somebody coughing] YEAHHHH WOOOOO OH FUCK— Why’d I give a rhino Hennessy? ⸻ [Verse 1] Pulled up shirtless at the wildlife park With a bottle of Hen and a bad-ass heart Security said “sir please back away” But me and this rhino had plans that day Poured him a shot in a Burger King cup Big gray bastard said “FILL IT UP” Eyes got red, feet hit dirt Now he stompin’ through the fence goin’ absolutely berserk I said “RHINO YOU MY FUCKIN DOG” Then he launched my ass like a hollowed-out log Twenty feet up—I saw God for a sec Then landed face-first on a patio deck ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] OH NO— Here he comes again Horn look sharp as a goddamn pen Crowd screaming, somebody crying Meanwhile I’m in the bushes dry-heaving violently ⸻ [Chorus] OH FUCK—PISS IN MY EYES Covered in dirt and buffalo flies Beat bruised battered—NO REGRETS Throwing up chunks in a bush all soaking wet FUCKED UP—HE HIT ME GOOD Think I’m bleeding more than I probably should Pretty sure that horn cracked two damn ribs BUT I’D DO IT AGAIN, IT’S NOT DUMB ONE BIT ⸻ [Verse 2] Rhino leaned back like he wanted a kiss Then sneezed brown sludge all over my kicks Now I’m stumbling sideways through the gift shop aisle Concussed as hell ripping a blunt — pushing employees out of my way yelling we need more Henny, a corn cob pipe, and a stuffed grilled chicken — it’s the only way to survive Old lady said “sir you need some help sir” I said “holy shit this bitch has three eyes” Then the rhino busted through the goddamn wall Lookin’ drunk and majestic and seven feet tall He stole a stroller Ate a traffic cone Then chased a priest through the parking zone Some dude yelled “CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD” Rhino hit the gritty in somebody’s yard ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] OH LORD— I can’t feel my face Think I accidentally swallowed mace Whole damn world spinning sideways fast And I think there’s throw-up dripping down my ass ⸻ [Chorus] OH FUCK—PISS IN MY EYES Mouth full of blood and mosquito bites Beat bruised battered—NO REGRETS Laying face down by a lit cigarette FUCKED UP—HE HIT ME HARD Think I flew clean over three parked cars Pretty sure my left arm bent weird as shit BUT I’D DO IT AGAIN, IT’S NOT DUMB ONE BIT ⸻ [Bridge — slow, emotional, ridiculous] Me and that rhino… We understood each other… Two kings… One bottle… One destiny… …then he stepped on my spine. ⸻ [Final Chorus — biggest, loudest] OH FUCK—PISS IN MY EYES Seeing double underneath the sky Beat bruised battered—STILL NO REGRETS Paramedics smoking weed cigarettes FUCKED UP—HE HIT ME CLEAN Boot print somehow on my spleen One shoe gone and I lost my phone BUT I’D DO IT AGAIN, IT’S NOT THATTT DUMB