Tonic Funny Story. #TheTavern ( Dr. Dimio, Phantasmagoric Tinkerer)

Tribal junPsychotic sing, Chor Gruppe akapella Beatbox Funk Rock, braikbeat industrial, psychotic Ironie Joke psychotik [Lead horror stories instrument: epic thrill E-Cello with accordion and horns]

*[He giggles manically, his hair briefly sparking]*

## CHORUS
Oh, my t-tonics and mixtures are q-quite a surprise!
What they d-do beyond healing, you'll see with your eyes!
S-s-scientific progress has costs unforeseen,
And b-bald companions are q-quite a scene!

## VERSE 2
The b-battle was won with remarkable ease,
My f-friends felt invincible, p-pleased as you please.
Then we c-came to a lake, all so sparkly and blue,
"Let's w-wash off this g-grime!" is what they chose to do.

*[His mechanical arm spins in excitement]*

## VERSE 3
The sc-screams that erupted were q-quite a delight!
Every h-hair on their bodies had v-vanished from sight!
The d-dwarf was especially amusing to see,
B-bald as an egg from his head to his knee!

*[He doubles over in laughter, then straightens abruptly]*

## VERSE 4
They g-grabbed me and forced me to d-drink of my brew,
"Now y-you'll be as hairless!" they thought this was true.
But w-weeks before, I had p-prepared for such fate,
A h-hair-growing formula, absolutely f-first-rate!
(Hahahahahahahaha Aaak-aaak)

*[He runs his fingers through his wild hair dramatically]*

## FINAL VERSE
So the m-moral, dear patrons, if one you would seek:
N-never trust an alchemist whose m-mind has a leak!
But if h-hairless you find yourself, c-come visit my door,
I m-might have a cure... or m-make it so much worse than b-before!

*[He bows with a flourish, his mechanical arm producing a small puff of smoke and a shower of colorful sparks]*

Isn't funny? 
Okay hier my new mixture is better 
(Hihi)
End !

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[Dr. Dimio adjusts his turquoise goggles and taps his mechanical finger against a glass vial, creating an improvised rhythm]* [Intro whisper psychotic voice] Hay friend! (Hahaha!) What you say? AAA h! You want funny stories. I Tell you what happened with my last company (hahahahahaha!) . . ## VERSE 1 I c-c-concocted a potion one fi-fine battle day, "For s-strength and for courage!" is all I would say. My c-companions, they drank it without any doubt, Th-they slashed and they bashed all the undead about! *[He giggles manically, his hair briefly sparking]* ## CHORUS Oh, my t-tonics and mixtures are q-quite a surprise! What they d-do beyond healing, you'll see with your eyes! S-s-scientific progress has costs unforeseen, And b-bald companions are q-quite a scene! ## VERSE 2 The b-battle was won with remarkable ease, My f-friends felt invincible, p-pleased as you please. Then we c-came to a lake, all so sparkly and blue, "Let's w-wash off this g-grime!" is what they chose to do. *[His mechanical arm spins in excitement]* ## VERSE 3 The sc-screams that erupted were q-quite a delight! Every h-hair on their bodies had v-vanished from sight! The d-dwarf was especially amusing to see, B-bald as an egg from his head to his knee! *[He doubles over in laughter, then straightens abruptly]* ## CHORUS Oh, my t-tonics and mixtures are q-quite a surprise! What they d-do beyond healing, you'll see with your eyes! S-s-scientific progress has costs unforeseen, And b-bald companions are q-quite a scene! ## VERSE 4 They g-grabbed me and forced me to d-drink of my brew, "Now y-you'll be as hairless!" they thought this was true. But w-weeks before, I had p-prepared for such fate, A h-hair-growing formula, absolutely f-first-rate! (Hahahahahahahaha Aaak-aaak) *[He runs his fingers through his wild hair dramatically]* ## FINAL VERSE So the m-moral, dear patrons, if one you would seek: N-never trust an alchemist whose m-mind has a leak! But if h-hairless you find yourself, c-come visit my door, I m-might have a cure... or m-make it so much worse than b-before! *[He bows with a flourish, his mechanical arm producing a small puff of smoke and a shower of colorful sparks]* Isn't funny? Okay hier my new mixture is better (Hihi) End !

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