For The Road

[FUFU — spoken] Well, shit. [A few laughs.] I came in here to make friends, not ruin everybody's evening. [She retunes one string, then kicks into a fast, bright country-rock picking pattern.] This one's easier. If you've got a drink, you already know your part. [Verse I] Well, I walked into this bar tonight with nowhere else to be, found a stool, a battered stage, and folks who looked at me. You got whiskey by the bottle, cold beer by the glass, and something in that mason jar I ain't dumb enough to ask. I don't know all your stories, you sure as hell don't know mine, but introductions get much easier somewhere around drink nine! [spoken] I'm told. I regenerate. Apparently that complicates the experiment. [Chorus] So pour one more for the road! Though nobody's going home! Raise 'em high for all the dumb-ass things we're better off not knowing! To the ones who made it through, and the ones still getting there— If tomorrow wants to find us, IT CAN FUCKING FIND US HERE! Raise your glass! Raise your voice! Raise some hell because you can! If you can't remember why we're drinking— DRINK UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND! [Verse II] Here's to Jimmy at the corner who's been nursing that one beer. [PATRON] It's my fourth! [FUFU] Jimmy says it's number four! [laughter] Here's to Rosie pouring doubles when the boss ain't looking 'round. Here's to whoever picked the jukebox— [beat] Actually, fuck that guy. Turn it down. I've got a guitar. [cheers] Here's to working every Monday. Here's to barely making rent. Here's to buying something stupid with the money that you meant to spend on something sensible— but sensible can wait! You can't take your savings with you, so— [OLDER PATRON] That's terrible financial advice! [FUFU] Then don't put it on the fucking sign, Earl! [Chorus] Pour one more for the road! Though nobody's going home! Raise 'em high for every bad idea that's better shared than known! To the bruises and the breakups! To the jobs we fucking hate! To the friend who says, "Just one drink"— THEN CLOSES DOWN THE PLACE! Raise your glass! Raise your voice! Raise some hell because you can! If you can't remember why we're drinking— DRINK UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND! [Verse III — faster] I have drunk on alien planets. [The picking stops.] [FUFU] ...Long story. [Picking resumes.] I've had champagne on the moon. Had something purple in a nightclub that knocked me out till noon. Had sake with a six-armed lady. Had mead beside a god. Had cocktails served by robots— and every one was fucking odd. But give me beer that's slightly colder than the room it's sitting in, a bartender who remembers when you're coming back again, somebody yelling, "Same again!" before you've reached the bar— and I'll take this little nowhere place over anywhere by far. [Bridge — stomping rhythm on the guitar body] Now this part's complicated. When I point— YOU DRINK. [points] [CROWD] HEY! [FUFU] When I stomp— YOU DRINK. [THUMP] [CROWD] HEY! [FUFU] When I say "Last call!" [CROWD] ONE MORE! [FUFU] When I say "Bad idea!" [CROWD] POUR! [FUFU] Oh, you people learn fast. [rapid picking] LAST CALL! [CROWD] ONE MORE! BAD IDEA! [CROWD] POUR! LAST CALL! [CROWD] ONE MORE! [FUFU] Who's driving? [silence] ...Okay, we're gonna workshop that part. [Verse IV] Here's to folks we haven't met yet. Here's to friends we haven't made. Here's to walking through a strange front door and choosing that you stayed. Here's to songs that aren't important. Here's to nights that change no lives. Here's to laughing 'til your stomach hurts and somehow that's enough sometimes. Not every night's redemption. Not every drink's escape. Sometimes beer is fucking beer, and that's a perfectly good taste. So I ain't drinking to forget tonight. Got nothing I need gone. I'm drinking 'cause I'm sitting here, and somebody yelled— [CROWD] ONE MORE SONG! [Rebecca laughs and nearly misses the chord.] [Final Chorus — the whole Rusty Stag] Then pour ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD! [CROWD] THOUGH NOBODY'S GOING HOME! [FUFU] Raise 'em high for all the beautiful dumb bastards that we know! To the good days! [CROWD] AND THE BAD! To the ones we've yet to have! To whatever brought us through that door— AND WHATEVER BRINGS US BACK! Raise your glass! Raise your voice! Raise some hell because you can! And if you can't remember why we're drinking— [FUFU] You know what? Forget that part. [She raises her glass.] DRINK BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT GOOD COMPANY! [CROWD] DAMN RIGHT! [She slams into the final chord.] [FUFU — spoken] There. Everybody emotionally recovered? [MALE PATRON] Play the sad one again! [FUFU] Fuck you, Earl. [laughter]