Oops, My Bad (Went to Fart, but Shat Insta’d) [Intro] Uh-oh… That didn’t feel like air. Oops, my bad. [Verse 1] I was sitting with the fellas, Talking loudly, feeling proud, When a little bubble wandered Through the middle of the crowd. Thought I’d let it slip out silent, Just a harmless little blast— But the second that I pushed it, I regretted it real fast. [Pre-Chorus] My face went pale, my cheeks locked tight, I stood up like an old man overnight. They said, “Why you walking like your legs went bad?” I said, “Mind your damn business—oops, my bad.” [Chorus] Oops, my bad— Went to fart, but shat insta’d. Thought it was a little gas, But my ass had other plans. Now I’m doing that slow shuffle, Trying not to look too sad— Went to fart, but shat insta’d… Oops, my bad. [Verse 2] Made my way toward the bathroom With the patience of a saint, Every step was one more question: “Is it solid? Is it paint?” Wouldn’t cough and wouldn’t sneeze, Wouldn’t bend or raise a hand, Because one wrong move could turn into A crime scene in my pants. [Pre-Chorus] The dog looked up and sniffed the air, Then slowly walked away from there. Even he knew something smelled real bad— I whispered, “Don’t you judge me. Oops, my bad.” [Chorus] Oops, my bad— Went to fart, but shat insta’d. Thought it was a little gas, But my ass had other plans. Now I’m doing that slow shuffle, Trying not to look too sad— Went to fart, but shat insta’d… Oops, my bad. [Bridge] Never trust a fart past forty, That’s the wisdom of the wise. It may sound like sweet relief, But that’s deception in disguise. When your belly starts negotiating, Don’t be brave and don’t be glad— Find yourself some porcelain Before you’re saying, “Oops, my bad.” [Verse 3] Now I keep a pair of britches In the toolbox of my truck, Along with wipes and plastic bags For when I’m out of luck. Some men carry jumper cables, Some keep tools beneath the seat— I keep emergency underwear Because defeat can smell like meat. [Breakdown] Was it thunder? Was it rain? Was it pressure? Was it pain? Was it only passing wind? Hell no—it happened once again. [Final Chorus] Oops, my bad— Went to fart, but shat insta’d. One small push destroyed the trust Between a man and his own ass. Now I never take a gamble When my stomach’s acting mad— Went to fart, but shat insta’d… Oops, my bad. [Outro] Next time that pressure starts to grow, There’s only one safe place to go. Don’t test your luck. Don’t trust your ass. Oops… My bad.
