[Verse 1] Benni the Poopman was building a palace of sheet metal, wires and pride, With a hammer in one hand and absolutely no clue what was happening inside, He said, “Boys, I’ve got vision, I’ve got style, I’ve got taste, I’ve got flair,” Then he hooked up six garage doors to one switch and got locked in a staircase of air He wallpapered over electrical lines like a gentleman hiding a crime, Put a battery next to a sprinkler and said, “That should be perfectly fine,” He watered the planter with industrial confidence, flooding the bedroom in style, And when asked where the shotgun trap pointed he smiled and said, “Just trust me a while…” [Chorus] Ohhhh, Benni in the house of golden shit, Where the walls are pretty but the wiring doesn’t fit, There are turrets in the hallway and the floor may suddenly split, And the toilet costs a fortune but the rest is dogshit Ohhhh, Benni in the house of golden shit, Where you enter as a guest and leave in several bits, It’s a palace made of bad ideas and handyman bullshit, With a glorious shining toilet made of gold in the middle of it [Verse 2] He said, “I’ve mastered electricity, I understand automation now,” Then he connected all the lights to the SAM site and just nodded somehow, He wired the front door to a siren, the siren to a turret, the turret to the bed, So every time somebody came home, the whole damn base tried to make them dead He built a water system elegant as a drunken octopus dream, Half the pipes went to nowhere, half exploded violently into steam, The planter room was tropical madness, pumpkins floating in panic and fear, And one hose somehow led to the roof where it sprayed directly into a gear [Chorus] Ohhhh, Benni in the house of golden shit, Where the walls are pretty but the wiring doesn’t fit, There are turrets in the hallway and the floor may suddenly split, And the toilet costs a fortune but the rest is dogshit Ohhhh, Benni in the house of golden shit, Where you enter as a guest and leave in several bits, It’s a palace made of bad ideas and handyman bullshit, With a glorious shining toilet made of gold in the middle of it [Bridge] And then he said, “The crown jewel, gentlemen…” And pulled back a velvet cloth with tears in his eyes— A gigantic golden toilet Gleaming like a king’s reward beneath the Rust sky It had pipes, it had lights, it had a switch that nobody should touch, It had comfort, it had class, it had absolutely far too much, He said, “If the rest is a little rough, at least this part is elite…” Then somebody sat down and activated three flame traps beneath the seat [Verse 3] So he invited all his friends for a luxury tour of the masterpiece home, Said “Mind the pressure plates in the kitchen, and don’t stand too still near the dome,” One got shut in a garage door sandwich, one got shot by a turret in the den, One got electrocuted by decorative lighting and was never invited again Another drowned in the planter room trying to admire the wallpaper trim, Another touched the wrong smart switch and all the SAM rockets woke up on him, Benni stood in the rubble screaming “WAIT, IT MAKES SENSE IF YOU LIVE HERE A WEEK!” While his last surviving guest got crushed by a door mechanism in the sink [Final Chorus] Ohhhh, Benni in the house of golden shit, Where the rich decor distracts from the fact that you’ll get hit, There are traps in every corner and the logic’s counterfeit, But by God there’s a golden toilet and he’s very proud of it Ohhhh, Benni in the house of golden shit, Where the dream is psychedelic and the craftsmanship is shit, It’s a mansion made of confidence and handyman bullshit, And nobody made it out alive… but the bathroom? absolutely exquisite [Outro] Benni the Poopman stood alone in the glowing wreck at night, Whispering, “I may have over-engineered some things… but the toilet turned out right…”
