A Message That Was Never Sent

I came from a silence that never really stayed silent, it kept shifting until I started calling it mine I sat through a concert that no one else could hear, and I stayed because leaving felt worse somehow There was something in it that felt close to breathing, even when I couldn’t keep myself steady I carried more than I knew what to do with, and some of it I never wanted to keep If there was ever a place inside me to rest, I never quite found the door to it I stopped asking for a better world, because it already feels finished without me Every thought turns into something I write down, before I even understand why it’s there I tried to shape something that felt like meaning, and I reached further than I could hold For a moment it almost looked like enough, but it slipped before I could believe in it I sing the things I can’t bring myself to say, and I let go of what never learned how to stay I lean too far into someone’s eyes, like maybe falling will finally explain something I walk through these lines like they belong to me, even when I know they don’t fully do It’s a message I never send to anyone, but I still need to let it exist If you’re reading this, then don’t try to find me in it I was never what mattered here It was always about what stayed behind, after I stopped trying to hold it together I gave this everything I had left, until it became the only thing that didn’t leave And maybe that says more about me than I want to admit I just needed something that would stay, even if it was only this (ah-ah-ah)] I sing the things I can’t bring myself to say, and I let go of what never learned how to stay I lean too far into someone’s eyes, like maybe falling will finally explain something I walk through these lines like they belong to me, even when I know they don’t fully do It’s a message I never send to anyone, but I still need to let it exist Show me how to feel something again, because I think I lost it along the way There was so much more I meant to give, but I never found a way to say it right And you… I keep trying to convince myself it’s over, but it doesn’t listen I feel like something without a place to belong, and I don’t know if that will ever change