03-15 | Season 3 Finale: The Warrens - Hauntings, Hoaxes, and Hollywood

+ Show full styles

V5.5

[Verse 1]
Back in Bridgeport, Ed was painting haunted houses every day,
He claimed he saw an angry old lady in a basketball, okay?!
They'd sketch a flying demon on your chimney, then Lorraine would knock the door,
The Diet Coke of mediums, always hustling for a little more!
They rode the Satanic Panic all the way to the bank,
Turning every creaky floorboard into a multi-million dollar prank!

[Chorus]
(Big, explosive disco brass section, flamboyant group vocals)
Oh, the Warrens are arriving in a polyester suit!
They're bringing holy water and they're looking for the loot!
They've got eight thousand cases and no scientific proof,
Just a billion-dollar movie deal to keep them on the roof!
Yeah, they're hunting for the devil, but they're taking all the cash,
The greatest paranormal grifters at the disco monster mash!

[Verse 2]
(Wah-wah guitar scratches, groovy and sneaky)
Now Annabelle was not a monster, just a plushy Raggedy Ann!
They stuck her in a little glass case as part of the museum plan!
At the Amityville house they drank a lot of fancy wine,
Invented the whole hoax by design so the lawyer could resign!
And over in Great Britain, Ed told the investigator plain,
"There's money to be made right here," before they caught the outbound train!

[Bridge]
(Tempo slows down, heavy dramatic strings, spoken-word breakdown)
Then the Perron daddy threw them out upon the street!
'Cause levitating wives are bad for the neighborhood retreat!
But the skeptics came to visit, and they took a little look,
At the darkest, most demonic, ancient summoning magic book...
(Spoken) 
"Wait a minute! This says "Unearthed Arcana"...
"Ed, this is a Dungeons and Dragons manual!"
"Roll for deception!"

[Chorus]
(Maximum disco energy, four-on-the-floor beat, cymbals crashing)
Oh, the Warrens are arriving in a polyester suit!
They're bringing holy water and they're looking for the loot!
They've got eight thousand cases and no scientific proof,
Just a billion-dollar movie deal to keep them on the roof!
Yeah, they're hunting for the devil, but they're taking all the cash,
The greatest paranormal grifters at the disco monster mash!

[Outro]
(Music strips back to just the groovy bassline)
Is that a deadly demon, or a camera lens flare?
Just pay the five bucks and try to pretend that you care!
(Sound of an old mechanical cash register 'Cha-Ching')
Stay spooky!
(Fade out with funky disco strings)
[End]

2688/7500

[Intro] (A funky, driving disco bassline kicks in, mixed with a spooky theremin) (Sound of rolling multi-sided dice clattering on a table) Welcome to Connecticut, where the ghosts are always paying rent! Prepare yourself for a highly profitable supernatural event! [Verse 1] Back in Bridgeport, Ed was painting haunted houses every day, He claimed he saw an angry old lady in a basketball, okay?! They'd sketch a flying demon on your chimney, then Lorraine would knock the door, The Diet Coke of mediums, always hustling for a little more! They rode the Satanic Panic all the way to the bank, Turning every creaky floorboard into a multi-million dollar prank! [Chorus] (Big, explosive disco brass section, flamboyant group vocals) Oh, the Warrens are arriving in a polyester suit! They're bringing holy water and they're looking for the loot! They've got eight thousand cases and no scientific proof, Just a billion-dollar movie deal to keep them on the roof! Yeah, they're hunting for the devil, but they're taking all the cash, The greatest paranormal grifters at the disco monster mash! [Verse 2] (Wah-wah guitar scratches, groovy and sneaky) Now Annabelle was not a monster, just a plushy Raggedy Ann! They stuck her in a little glass case as part of the museum plan! At the Amityville house they drank a lot of fancy wine, Invented the whole hoax by design so the lawyer could resign! And over in Great Britain, Ed told the investigator plain, "There's money to be made right here," before they caught the outbound train! [Bridge] (Tempo slows down, heavy dramatic strings, spoken-word breakdown) Then the Perron daddy threw them out upon the street! 'Cause levitating wives are bad for the neighborhood retreat! But the skeptics came to visit, and they took a little look, At the darkest, most demonic, ancient summoning magic book... (Spoken) "Wait a minute! This says "Unearthed Arcana"... "Ed, this is a Dungeons and Dragons manual!" "Roll for deception!" [Chorus] (Maximum disco energy, four-on-the-floor beat, cymbals crashing) Oh, the Warrens are arriving in a polyester suit! They're bringing holy water and they're looking for the loot! They've got eight thousand cases and no scientific proof, Just a billion-dollar movie deal to keep them on the roof! Yeah, they're hunting for the devil, but they're taking all the cash, The greatest paranormal grifters at the disco monster mash! [Outro] (Music strips back to just the groovy bassline) Is that a deadly demon, or a camera lens flare? Just pay the five bucks and try to pretend that you care! (Sound of an old mechanical cash register 'Cha-Ching') Stay spooky! (Fade out with funky disco strings) [End]

0/500