Dang Ol’ Propane Christmas" (G-Major

[In G Major, this "Country-Fried"] arrangement blends the show’s iconic G-B-C-C\#-D climbing bassline with a high-speed bluegrass "train beat, " • Verses (G \rightarrow B7 \rightarrow C \rightarrow D): Use a twangy Telecaster for the "dirty" anecdotes, hitting a B7 for that cheeky, Western-swing tension, • Chorus (G \rightarrow B7 \rightarrow C \rightarrow D \rightarrow G): The rhythm shifts to a frantic rockabilly "slap-bass" style, A Boomhauer patter-rap Dang Ol’ Propane Christmas" (G-Major Country Arrangement) (Intro: The "Theme Song" Riff played on a twangy Telecaster with bells, male vocals, guitar, soul

V4.5-ALL

ocals: Boomhauer (High-tenor, fast-talking, rhythmic)
Music: 160 BPM. Slap-bass, frantic banjo, and a fiddle that sounds like a siren.
(Intro: Boomhauer clears his throat)
"Yo, man... talkin' 'bout dang ol' jingle bells, man... tell you hwat... talkin' 'bout that 'Yule,' yo."
(Verse 1: The Hank & Peggy "Heat")
E
Talkin' 'bout ol' Hank, man, standin' in the kitchen, yo,
G#
Talkin' 'bout a "stiff peak," man, tellin' Peggy "Go, go, go!"
A
He’s got that "white icing," man, drippin' off a spoon, yo,
B
Tellin' her to "taste it," man, under that ol' Christmas moon.
E
Peggy’s got her "buns" out, man, talkin' 'bout a "rizzen in da Dang pan.
G#
Hank’s checkin' out her "nozzle," man, seelin off tha dang leaky gas ring 
(Verse 2: The Kids & The "Stones")
E
Then you got ol' Bobby, man, talkin' 'bout a "greenery" scene,
G#
With that Connie Souphanousinphone—you know what I mean?
A
Talkin' 'bout "gettin' stoned," yo, behind the garden shed,
B
Just throwin' rocks at cans, man... that’s what ol' Joseph said.
E
Joseph’s got his "scope" out, man, lookin' at Luanne, yo,
G#
Talkin' 'bout a "manger-babe"—dang ol' "Manger-Babe," man!
(Chorus: The Alley)
E
Talkin' 'bout standin' in the alley, man, checkin' out the "trim,"
G#
Talkin' 'bout that "hand-warmer," man, fill it to the rim!
A
Got that "gas-pipe" throbbin', yo, feelin' that ol' thrill,
B                                           E
Dang ol' "Winter Wonderland," man... King of the Hill!
(Bridge: The Dale & Bill Breakdown)
C#m
Then you got ol' Dale, man, talkin' 'bout a "conspiracy,"
G#
Lookin' for a "hidden leak," man, checkin' out the "frequency."
A
Talkin' 'bout "probing," yo, down in the dark and cold,
B
Lookin' for a "tight fit," man, or so the story’s told!
C#m
And ol' Bill, man... talkin' 'bout a "thick-hipped" dream,
G#
Found a lady at the food court, man, talkin' 'bout a "Team."
A
She’s "wide-tracked," yo, keepin' ol' Dauterive warm,
B
Talkin' 'bout a "human blanket," man... eye of the storm!
(Verse 3: The Family Feast)
E
Talkin' 'bout ol' Cotton, man, grabbin' at a "Spirit" knee,
G#
Talkin' 'bout "I kilt fitty men"—underneath the tree!
A
Hank’s "pilot light" is glowin', man, keepin' it all clean,
B
Talkin' 'bout that "Lady Propane"... Arlen Christmas queen!
(Outro)
E
Talkin' 'bout "Yep," man.
G#
Talkin' 'bout "Yup," yo.
A
Talkin' 'bout "Mhm," man.
B
Talkin' 'bout... (Deep breath) ...dang-ol-God-rest-ye-merry-gentlemen-mena-let-nothing-you-dismay man-yo-I-told-you-hwat.

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ocals: Boomhauer (High-tenor, fast-talking, rhythmic) Music: 160 BPM. Slap-bass, frantic banjo, and a fiddle that sounds like a siren. (Intro: Boomhauer clears his throat) "Yo, man... talkin' 'bout dang ol' jingle bells, man... tell you hwat... talkin' 'bout that 'Yule,' yo." (Verse 1: The Hank & Peggy "Heat") E Talkin' 'bout ol' Hank, man, standin' in the kitchen, yo, G# Talkin' 'bout a "stiff peak," man, tellin' Peggy "Go, go, go!" A He’s got that "white icing," man, drippin' off a spoon, yo, B Tellin' her to "taste it," man, under that ol' Christmas moon. E Peggy’s got her "buns" out, man, talkin' 'bout a "rizzen in da Dang pan. G# Hank’s checkin' out her "nozzle," man, seelin off tha dang leaky gas ring (Verse 2: The Kids & The "Stones") E Then you got ol' Bobby, man, talkin' 'bout a "greenery" scene, G# With that Connie Souphanousinphone—you know what I mean? A Talkin' 'bout "gettin' stoned," yo, behind the garden shed, B Just throwin' rocks at cans, man... that’s what ol' Joseph said. E Joseph’s got his "scope" out, man, lookin' at Luanne, yo, G# Talkin' 'bout a "manger-babe"—dang ol' "Manger-Babe," man! (Chorus: The Alley) E Talkin' 'bout standin' in the alley, man, checkin' out the "trim," G# Talkin' 'bout that "hand-warmer," man, fill it to the rim! A Got that "gas-pipe" throbbin', yo, feelin' that ol' thrill, B E Dang ol' "Winter Wonderland," man... King of the Hill! (Bridge: The Dale & Bill Breakdown) C#m Then you got ol' Dale, man, talkin' 'bout a "conspiracy," G# Lookin' for a "hidden leak," man, checkin' out the "frequency." A Talkin' 'bout "probing," yo, down in the dark and cold, B Lookin' for a "tight fit," man, or so the story’s told! C#m And ol' Bill, man... talkin' 'bout a "thick-hipped" dream, G# Found a lady at the food court, man, talkin' 'bout a "Team." A She’s "wide-tracked," yo, keepin' ol' Dauterive warm, B Talkin' 'bout a "human blanket," man... eye of the storm! (Verse 3: The Family Feast) E Talkin' 'bout ol' Cotton, man, grabbin' at a "Spirit" knee, G# Talkin' 'bout "I kilt fitty men"—underneath the tree! A Hank’s "pilot light" is glowin', man, keepin' it all clean, B Talkin' 'bout that "Lady Propane"... Arlen Christmas queen! (Outro) E Talkin' 'bout "Yep," man. G# Talkin' 'bout "Yup," yo. A Talkin' 'bout "Mhm," man. B Talkin' 'bout... (Deep breath) ...dang-ol-God-rest-ye-merry-gentlemen-mena-let-nothing-you-dismay man-yo-I-told-you-hwat.

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