[Intro, solo piano, rain, calliope far under static] [Verse 1, whispered, piano only, no drums] I've been called a monster all these years I've been pretending that I have no tears Kept them in a jar on the highest shelf Poured them out at night where I couldn't hurt myself Smiled through the sermon, smiled through the drive Learned that a monster's just a boy who survived Something he can't name, in a house he can't leave So I wore it like a costume with the tag still on the sleeve [Pre-chorus, drums enter, guitars swell, voice lifts] She called me borderline She said I'm never fine She promised for better or worse Then she read me the fine print of the curse [Chorus, screamed, heavy guitars, double-kick, gang vocals answer] LORD... I NEED TO KNOW (I need to know) I NEED TO KNOW (I need to know) Am I the monster, or the wound that it wore? Am I the storm, or am I the door? LORD... I NEED TO KNOW (I need to know) Was it me, or the name that she swore? For better or worse, which one am I for? (whoop... whoop...) [Verse 2, half-time rap, palm-muted guitars, calliope rising] She had a word for it, she got it off a reel Diagnosis by the comment section, that's how she'd deal Every time I flinched, that was evidence Every time I cried, that was a symptom, not a sentence Never fine. Never fine. Okay, then what's fine? Fine is you leaving quiet while I'm holding the line? Looked it up at 2 AM with my hands shaking Nine little boxes, and a vow I wasn't the one breaking [Pre-chorus, bigger] She called me borderline She said I'm never fine She promised for better or worse I was the worse. So where's the verse? [Chorus, full] LORD... I NEED TO KNOW (I need to know) I NEED TO KNOW (I need to know) Am I the monster, or the wound that it wore? Am I the storm, or am I the door? LORD... I NEED TO KNOW (I need to know) Was it me, or the name that she swore? For better or worse, which one am I for? (whoop... whoop...) [Bridge, everything drops out, piano and music box, spoken word] Maybe I am. Maybe some nights I am. Maybe the word fits the part of me that slams the door. And maybe that's true, and maybe it's also true that you said forever to a man you'd already diagnosed. Both. [Sung, soft] Both can be true. Neither one erases the other. So Lord, I'm not asking you to pick. I'm asking you to look. [Breakdown, screamed, double-kick, calliope full, gang vocals close and dry] I NEED TO KNOW IF THE MONSTER'S MINE OR THE MIRROR'S HERS I NEED TO KNOW WHICH ONE OF US WAS THE WORSE (WHOOP WHOOP) I NEED TO KNOW (WHOOP WHOOP) I NEED TO KNOW [Final chorus, wall of sound, gang vocals doubled] LORD... I NEED TO KNOW (I need to know) I NEED TO KNOW (I need to know) Am I the monster, or the wound that it wore? Am I the storm, or am I the door? LORD... I NEED TO KNOW (I need to know) Was it me, or the name that she swore? For better or worse... [Hard cut to solo piano] which one am I for? [Outro, solo piano, whispered, chord never resolves] I've been called a monster all these years. ...I have tears.
