🎺 HOOK IT’S THE HERO’S JOURNEY I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS I WAS TRYNA GET SOME GAS STATION NACHOS NOW I’M FIGHTING ABYSS IT’S THE HERO’S JOURNEY I SHOULD’VE STAYED HOME EVERYBODY SAYING I’M THE CHOSEN ONE BROTHER LEAVE ME ALONE ⸻ VERSE 1 Okay boom I was minding my business Buying beef jerky and lottery tickets When a wizard appeared in a cloud of smoke Said “the world gonna end” I said “that’s unfortunate folks” Then he handed me a map made out of skin Told me destiny was calling again I said “respectfully sir I got work at eight” He said “fate don’t care” Man fate can wait Then the sky cracked open over parking lot three And a giant eyeball started looking at me Now the cashier crying and the propane tanks singing And everybody somehow acting like this normal thing ⸻ 🎺 HOOK IT’S THE HERO’S JOURNEY I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS I WAS TRYNA GET SOME GAS STATION NACHOS NOW I’M FIGHTING ABYSS IT’S THE HERO’S JOURNEY I SHOULD’VE STAYED HOME EVERYBODY SAYING I’M THE CHOSEN ONE BROTHER LEAVE ME ALONE ⸻ VERSE 2 Now I’m crossing cursed deserts and haunted ravines With a talking raccoon and a goblin named Steve Killed a dragon Tuesday Almost died Wednesday Got eaten by a whale Long story anyway Then we climbed up a mountain made entirely of teeth Met a swordsmith blacksmith living underneath He forged me a blade called The Final Dawn Then immediately got carried away by swans Now a lich king want me dead A queen wants me wed A prophet says I’m written in the stars overhead And every tavern got a bounty on my face Brother I miss sitting quietly in one place ⸻ 🗡️ BRIDGE Ancient master on a mountain peak Said he had wisdom he should speak Said “the answer lies within your soul” Then immediately rolled down the mountain Into a hole Long live the master Gone too soon About thirty seconds after meeting him ⸻ VERSE 3 Now the kingdom on fire and the moon got cracks And the army of darkness launching counterattacks Got volcano spiders coming over the hill And a giant made of church bells looking to kill Then the oracle screamed “you must face your fear” Brother my fear currently standing right here Twenty stories tall breathing purple flame And somehow everybody looking at me again Now the wizard back talking bout “you’ve grown” Brother this all started because I left home If I knew destiny was this much work I’d have stayed at the gas station eating beef jerky ⸻ 🎺 DOUBLE TIME BREAKDOWN OkayWAITwaitWAIT Magic sword Evil lord Prophecy Sacred war Ancient tomb Golden key Why is everybody relying on me Chosen one Secret blood Lost kingdom Ancient flood Darkest hour Final stand I DON’T EVEN FULLY UNDERSTAND THE PLAN Then the heavens opened up and the stars came down And the dragon started wearing a kingly crown And the raccoon got promoted somehow overnight TO LORD HIGH CHANCELLOR OF THE ENDLESS LIGHT ⸻ 🎺 FINAL HOOK IT’S THE HERO’S JOURNEY I SURVIVED SOMEHOW I LOST MY HORSE THREE FRIENDS AND MOST OF MY SANITY NOW IT’S THE HERO’S JOURNEY THE WORLD STILL SPINS BUT IF ANOTHER WIZARD NEEDS A HERO GET SOMEBODY ELSE NEXT TIME ⸻ 🎸 JAM OUTRO I SHOULD’VE STAYED HOME I SHOULD’VE STAYED HOME I SHOULD’VE STAYED HOME (choir joins) I SHOULD’VE STAYED HOME (guitar solo) I SHOULD’VE STAYED HOME (drums double) I SHOULD’VE STAYED HOME (raccoon chanting in distance) LORD HIGH CHANCELLOR LORD HIGH CHANCELLOR LORD HIGH CHANCELLOR OF THE ENDLESS LIGHT
