Song Cover Image

Haunted House Mortgage

V6-WILD

๐Ÿฆ‡ ๐Ÿ•ธ๏ธ ๐Ÿชฆ โ”€โ”€ โ›ง ๐•พ๐–•๐–”๐–”๐–๐–ž โ›ง โ”€โ”€ ๐Ÿชฆ ๐Ÿ•ธ๏ธ ๐Ÿฆ‡ Welcome to the Nightmarish Ride. A variety show in a deserted fun fare that at mignight suddenly turns to a crowded place - Dare you buy a ticket... for just a coin? Dare you enter the show? ๐Ÿ‘‰ https://suno.com/playlist/cad1c252-6b7a-4132-b271-ae36afb042b8 ๐Ÿ’€ ๐ŸŽƒ โœฆ โ”€โ”€ ๐“†™ ๐•ณ๐–†๐–š๐–“๐–™๐–Š๐–‰ ๐“†™ โ”€โ”€ โœฆ ๐ŸŽƒ ๐Ÿ’€ [Intro] Oh, gather round the haunted deed, Thereโ€™s trouble in the graveyard feed! [Verse 1] I bought this mansion, cracked and grand, With twelve dark rooms and a moat of sand. The realtor said, โ€œA charming steal!โ€ Then mailed a bill that made me squeal. The parlor groans, the chandeliers sway, But something worse arrived today: A little envelope, stamped and neatโ€” โ€œYour property tax is due this week!โ€ [Pre-Chorus] I can rattle chains, I can slam a door, I can levitate the dining floor, But when the county comes to call, Iโ€™m just a nervous ghost in the hall! [Chorus] Haunted house mortgage, boo-hoo-hoo! The price of this place just doubled too! My spectral creditโ€™s wearing thin, And the bank wonโ€™t take a skeleton grin. Haunted house mortgage, what can I do? Rent out the crypt to a family of two? Iโ€™m terrifying, yes, thatโ€™s trueโ€” But these real estate numbers scare me blue! [Verse 2] The appraisal man wore polished shoes, He said, โ€œYour castle has a lovely view.โ€ I showed him bats and a cursed oubliette, He said, โ€œThat adds a premium to your debt.โ€ The roof leaks ectoplasm green, The boiler screams at half past three, The portrait in the foyer wonโ€™t behave, And termites are eating my favorite grave. [Pre-Chorus] I can howl through walls, I can vanish fast, I can make a candle flame turn brass, But then the lender cleared his throatโ€” โ€œSign here, please, on this haunted note!โ€ [Chorus] Haunted house mortgage, boo-hoo-hoo! The price of this place just doubled too! My spectral creditโ€™s wearing thin, And the bank wonโ€™t take a skeleton grin. Haunted house mortgage, what can I do? List the west wing with a tasteful ad or two? Iโ€™m terrifying, yes, thatโ€™s trueโ€” But these real estate numbers scare me blue! [Bridge] Maybe Iโ€™ll rent the attic to a witch, Lease the ballroom to a vampire switch, Turn the dungeon into a trendy cafรฉโ€” โ€œBlood orange scones, six bucks a plate!โ€ Or sell one portrait, just one small frameโ€” The ancestor in it keeps forgetting his name. If the market falls, Iโ€™ll rise with the moon, And refinance this crypt by June! [Break] Boo! Who owns the deed? Boo! Who needs a loan? Boo! Even ghosts must pay For every haunted stone! [Final Chorus] Haunted house mortgage, boo-hoo-hoo! The closing costs came marching through! My phantom funds are nearly gone, And the tax collector sings along. Haunted house mortgage, shake that chain! Maybe Iโ€™ll sublet the attic in the rain! Iโ€™m terrifying, yes, thatโ€™s trueโ€” But this haunted house is haunting me too! [Outro] So if you see my mansion up for sale, Bring cash, good credit, and a sturdy mailโ€” The ghost inside will gladly move, If somebody else can pay the dues!