(Verse 1) Kevin Boguslawski disappeared last night, Saw a flashing saucer covered up in lights. He said, “Guys, I swear, they picked me for a tour!” Now he walks kinda funny through the grocery store. He came back yelling, “Earthlings, hear my plea!” Tin foil hat lookin’ like a busted Christmas tree. Said the aliens were gray and four feet tall, And one said, “Kevin, drop your pants, that’s protocol.” (Chorus) OH NOOOO, Kevin got probed by aliens! Flying through the cosmos with some weird little Canadians! Zippity zap, now he’s scared of tractor beams, We’re all laughing while he’s crying in his jeans! Kevin got probed by aliens tonight! Now he screams every time he sees a blinking light! (Verse 2) Now he won’t sit down at the Burger King booth, Talkin’ bout “space science” and “extraterrestrial truth.” He says, “Guys, it hurt!” and we all crack up, ‘Cause he drew the UFO on a coffee cup. His mom said, “Kevin, boy, you need some sleep.” But Kevin keeps watchin’ skies with binoculars cheap. Every cow in town gets nervous when he’s near, ‘Cause Kevin starts yelling, “THEY’RE COMING BACK THIS YEAR!” (Chorus) OH NOOOO, Kevin got probed by aliens! Floating naked upward while they played accordions! Bleep bloop beep, now he twitches at the moon, And he faints every time he hears a silver spoon! Kevin got probed by aliens tonight! Now he moonwalks accidentally out of fright! (Bridge – call and response) Who got snatched? KEVIN! Who got probed? KEVIN! Who screams “NOT AGAIN!” when the porch lights flicker? KEVIN DOES! What’d the aliens want? WE DON’T KNOW! Did they fix his brain? PROBABLY NO! What’s Kevin doin’ now? HIDIN’ IN THE SHED! (Final Chorus) OH NOOOO, Kevin got probed by aliens! Galactic embarrassment across the whole Midwestern land! He says, “It’s traumatic!” and we laugh instead, ‘Cause he still sleeps underneath his metal bed! Kevin got probed by aliens tonighttttt— And now he salutes every satellite in sight! 🚀👽
