03-10 | The Leaping Lawyer: Trading Shares for Specters in Toronto

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V5.5

[Verse 1]
Since the crash of twenty-nine, there’s a legend in the sky! 
The Leaping Lawyer lost his shares and chose a way to die! 
He was a young and promising guy with a slicked-back head 
But the market took a tumble and he ended up dead! 
Now if you're standing on a ledge or looking at the street 
You'll feel a sudden vertigo sweep you off your feet!

[Chorus]
(Explosive ska-punk horns and group harmonies)
Oh, he's falling past the window of the financial tower! 
A flickering shadow stripped of all his corporate power! 
From the Dominion Bank to the Eddie stair! 
He’ll hit you with a sudden wave of absolute despair! 
Yeah, the market went down and the lawyer went too!
Now he's screaming "Sell the bonds!" on his way down to you!

[Verse 2]
(Chugging palm-muted guitars)
But the ghost of the twenties got a brand new lore 
In nineteen 93 on the twenty-fourth floor! 
Thirty-nine-year-old Garry Hoy was a partner at the firm 
Showing off for the students, making everybody squirm! 
At the TeeDee Center tower, to prove that he was right 
He body-checked the window with all his corporate might!

[Bridge]
(Tempo drops, heavy bass line, building tension)
He bounced off the first time, the silica held strong! 
But Garry did it twice, and everything went wrong! 
The glass didn't shatter, but the window frame gave way! 
And Holden Day Wilson lost their partner on that day! 
Twenty-four stories, a catastrophic plunge! 
Right out the exterior wall like a dirty corporate sponge!

[Guitar/Horn Solo]
(A frantic, high-energy duel between a distorted guitar and a ska trombone)
(Sound of wind rushing rapidly past a microphone)

[Chorus]
(Maximum energy, fast beat)
Oh, he's falling past the window of the financial tower! 
A flickering shadow stripped of all his corporate power! 
From the Dominion Bank to the Eddie stair! 
He’ll hit you with a sudden wave of absolute despair! 
Yeah, the market went down and the lawyer went too!
Now he's screaming "Sell the bonds!" on his way down to you!

[Outro]
(A cappella with a single snare drum beat)
Don't body-check the skyscraper, no matter what you claim! 
The glass might be tough, but you cannot trust the frame! 
(Sound of an old-timey cash register 'cha-ching') 
(Fades out)
[End]

2498/7500

[Intro] (Fast, distorted electric guitar riff with a heavy, driving drum beat) (A loud, cartoonish 'BOING' of a trampoline) "Welcome to Toronto, the Financial District core! Where the stone is intimidating and you're always wanting more!" [Verse 1] Since the crash of twenty-nine, there’s a legend in the sky! The Leaping Lawyer lost his shares and chose a way to die! He was a young and promising guy with a slicked-back head But the market took a tumble and he ended up dead! Now if you're standing on a ledge or looking at the street You'll feel a sudden vertigo sweep you off your feet! [Chorus] (Explosive ska-punk horns and group harmonies) Oh, he's falling past the window of the financial tower! A flickering shadow stripped of all his corporate power! From the Dominion Bank to the Eddie stair! He’ll hit you with a sudden wave of absolute despair! Yeah, the market went down and the lawyer went too! Now he's screaming "Sell the bonds!" on his way down to you! [Verse 2] (Chugging palm-muted guitars) But the ghost of the twenties got a brand new lore In nineteen 93 on the twenty-fourth floor! Thirty-nine-year-old Garry Hoy was a partner at the firm Showing off for the students, making everybody squirm! At the TeeDee Center tower, to prove that he was right He body-checked the window with all his corporate might! [Bridge] (Tempo drops, heavy bass line, building tension) He bounced off the first time, the silica held strong! But Garry did it twice, and everything went wrong! The glass didn't shatter, but the window frame gave way! And Holden Day Wilson lost their partner on that day! Twenty-four stories, a catastrophic plunge! Right out the exterior wall like a dirty corporate sponge! [Guitar/Horn Solo] (A frantic, high-energy duel between a distorted guitar and a ska trombone) (Sound of wind rushing rapidly past a microphone) [Chorus] (Maximum energy, fast beat) Oh, he's falling past the window of the financial tower! A flickering shadow stripped of all his corporate power! From the Dominion Bank to the Eddie stair! He’ll hit you with a sudden wave of absolute despair! Yeah, the market went down and the lawyer went too! Now he's screaming "Sell the bonds!" on his way down to you! [Outro] (A cappella with a single snare drum beat) Don't body-check the skyscraper, no matter what you claim! The glass might be tough, but you cannot trust the frame! (Sound of an old-timey cash register 'cha-ching') (Fades out) [End]

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