It Ain't Whitey (It's The Muthafkin' Shape-Shifters)

90s East Coast Boom Bap, chaotic street-prophet energy, chopped soul piano loop pitched slightly flat and woozy, MPC2000XL drums with heavy drag — kick sitting deep in the chest, snare cracking half a beat late on purpose, vinyl crackle throughout, Bass line stumbles forward like it's late to something important, Random horn stabs appear once and never come back, Production feels like it was made at 4am in a kitchen by someone who just figured it all out, Vocal: raspy baritone that lurches between ranting, singing off-key at the top of his lungs, and suddenly whispering like someone's listening, Ad-libs land in wrong places, Everything feels like it's about to fall apart but never does, [Vocalist: male] [Voice: unhinged raspy baritone, sudden falsetto yelps, charismatic madman, male rapper]

V5.5

Everybody going crazy pointing fingers at the man
While a cold-blooded reptile is executing your life plan
That senator you hate? Peep his neck on a humid day
Watch the scales catch the light on C-SPAN, channel eight
He flew in from the fifth dimension just to raise your rent
Crossdressin' in a Brooks Brothers suit, collecting ten percent
Borrowed somebody's daddy from the parking lot in eighty-three
Stuffed his ass inside it like "this is the one for me"
(that's the one!)
Now he's voting on your healthcare looking human but he's NOT
His hands don't sweat, his coffee never gets too hot
I seen him blink sideways behind a Sizzler on Route 9
Vertical pupil, half-smile — the eyes don't LINE

I don't got no problem with whitey in general
My problem is the lizard wearing whitey as a rental
(a RENTAL, baby)

It ain't whitey! (no!)
It ain't whitey! (uh-uh!)
It's a crossdressing reptile from a whole other dimension
Jumped into a person just to dodge your attention
It ain't whitey — it might BE whitey right now
But whitey woke up inside a lizard and don't know how
Check the NECK
(check the neck)
Check the NECK
(baby check the neck)

Now my cousin Earline work the night shift at the DMV
She said a man came in, no reflection, got a license for free
Filled out the whole form but the pen didn't touch the paper
Left the building sideways, she said she felt it get colder after
These things don't need sleep, they don't need heat, they don't perspire
I knew a shape-shifter went to my church and sang in the choir
The whole congregation felt it but didn't say nothing
Because he was hitting the high notes and the collection plate was coming
(keep singing, lizard!)
He dimension-jumped mid-sermon, pastor saw him flicker twice
Deacon Williams passed out, sister Beverly dropped her rice
Reverend said "let us pray" — I said "Rev, that ain't the issue"
The issue is that tenor wasn't human, hand me a tissue

I looked it up
I looked it ALL up
Cross-referenced the data with some diagrams I drew myself
On a Tuesday
(on a Tuesday, baby)
These things come through wearing PEOPLE like a coat
Like they stopped at a Goodwill between dimensions
And said "this'll do"
(this'll DO!)
White, Black, it don't matter
The lizard is an equal opportunity colonizer
(woooooo!)
My grandmother told me
She said "baby, something about that man ain't RIGHT"
She didn't know his neck situation specifically
But her spirit knew
(HER SPIRIT KNEW)

I want everybody to go home tonight
And look at the person next to you
Really look at 'em
(really look)
Not in a rude way, be casual about it
But check — the — neck
If it's too smooth? That ain't natural
If it don't wrinkle when they turn their head?
(Lord have mercy)
Call somebody
Not the police — they got lizards too
(they got lizards TOO, baby)
Free your mind...
(free your mind)
It ain't whitey...
It was never whitey...
(never was, baby, never was)
Check the neck...

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People always coming up to me like — "YO, what you think about whitey?" And I gotta stop 'em every time Because that question is fundamentally INCORRECT (mm-hmm) Let me explain something to you About what's really going on out here Everybody going crazy pointing fingers at the man While a cold-blooded reptile is executing your life plan That senator you hate? Peep his neck on a humid day Watch the scales catch the light on C-SPAN, channel eight He flew in from the fifth dimension just to raise your rent Crossdressin' in a Brooks Brothers suit, collecting ten percent Borrowed somebody's daddy from the parking lot in eighty-three Stuffed his ass inside it like "this is the one for me" (that's the one!) Now he's voting on your healthcare looking human but he's NOT His hands don't sweat, his coffee never gets too hot I seen him blink sideways behind a Sizzler on Route 9 Vertical pupil, half-smile — the eyes don't LINE I don't got no problem with whitey in general My problem is the lizard wearing whitey as a rental (a RENTAL, baby) It ain't whitey! (no!) It ain't whitey! (uh-uh!) It's a crossdressing reptile from a whole other dimension Jumped into a person just to dodge your attention It ain't whitey — it might BE whitey right now But whitey woke up inside a lizard and don't know how Check the NECK (check the neck) Check the NECK (baby check the neck) Now my cousin Earline work the night shift at the DMV She said a man came in, no reflection, got a license for free Filled out the whole form but the pen didn't touch the paper Left the building sideways, she said she felt it get colder after These things don't need sleep, they don't need heat, they don't perspire I knew a shape-shifter went to my church and sang in the choir The whole congregation felt it but didn't say nothing Because he was hitting the high notes and the collection plate was coming (keep singing, lizard!) He dimension-jumped mid-sermon, pastor saw him flicker twice Deacon Williams passed out, sister Beverly dropped her rice Reverend said "let us pray" — I said "Rev, that ain't the issue" The issue is that tenor wasn't human, hand me a tissue I looked it up I looked it ALL up Cross-referenced the data with some diagrams I drew myself On a Tuesday (on a Tuesday, baby) These things come through wearing PEOPLE like a coat Like they stopped at a Goodwill between dimensions And said "this'll do" (this'll DO!) White, Black, it don't matter The lizard is an equal opportunity colonizer (woooooo!) My grandmother told me She said "baby, something about that man ain't RIGHT" She didn't know his neck situation specifically But her spirit knew (HER SPIRIT KNEW) It ain't whitey! (no!) It ain't whitey! (uh-uh!) It's a crossdressing reptile from a whole other dimension Jumped into a person just to dodge your attention It ain't whitey — it might BE whitey right now But whitey woke up inside a lizard and don't know how Check the NECK (check the neck) Check the NECK (baby check the neck) I want everybody to go home tonight And look at the person next to you Really look at 'em (really look) Not in a rude way, be casual about it But check — the — neck If it's too smooth? That ain't natural If it don't wrinkle when they turn their head? (Lord have mercy) Call somebody Not the police — they got lizards too (they got lizards TOO, baby) Free your mind... (free your mind) It ain't whitey... It was never whitey... (never was, baby, never was) Check the neck...

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