[Intro – spoken lazy] Yeah… one small puff for Richmond one giant menu for mankind..... [Verse 1] I lit a little thought and the fridge turned loud, stomach wrote a speech, said seize the day, Richmond got hungry and the world turned buffet. jaw-ripper burger calling my name Chaos meals lining up in a row, onion rings size of Saturn Triple-stack burger in the spotlight glow, molten cheese waterfall dripping down slow, Extra large fries with emotional support ranch, And there's mega volcano burger forming a branch, Hot cheddar avalanche ready to launch, bacon squad marching in tactical scheme, bbq sauce on the side playin diplomatic team (watta Fuck......) garlic bread with main character energy doing backflips on the tray, Twelve-piece nugget choir singing my name! Bro.... this menu looks like a Broadway play. Diet Coke on the table, chaos on the plate, Diet Coke in the middle of a heavyweight debate! [Chorus] Diet Coke, Diet Coke, witness to the feast, Diet Coke, Diet Coke, negotiating peace, Diet Coke, Diet Coke, lawyer for the grease, Diet Coke kept me human at least. Diet Coke hero of the tray, Diet Coke saving the day, Diet Coke said it's okay, Diet Coke make it go away. [Verse 2] Milkshake thick like a government file, pizza winking with a criminal smile, barbecue tsunami wings paired with mozzarella sticks Tacos with secrets folded inside, hot sauce drippin trying to slide, mac and cheese speakin fluent gold Philly steak arrived late cause chicken sandwich was talkin real slick, Bring me more nachos and it better be quick Burrito wrapped like a state secret tight, Got ramen packed up to have later at night Chef lookin nervous and checking the clock, But hey it's just my appetite learnin to moonwalk. But it's all fine. I got Diet Coke for balance, Diet Coke for grace, Diet Coke standing guard at my messy diet base! [Chorus] Diet Coke, Diet Coke, witness to the feast, Diet Coke, Diet Coke, negotiating peace, Diet Coke, Diet Coke, lawyer for the grease, Diet Coke kept me human at least. Diet Coke hero of the tray, Diet Coke saving the day, Diet Coke said it's okay, Diet Coke make it go away. [Bridge - spoken with confidence] Now finish it off with dessert called.... THE Final Chapter..... sweet curtain call, culinary rapture. [Chorus] Diet Coke, Diet Coke, witness to the feast, Diet Coke, Diet Coke, negotiating peace, Diet Coke, Diet Coke, lawyer for the grease, Diet Coke kept me human at least. Diet Coke hero of the tray, Diet Coke saving the day, Diet Coke said it's okay, Diet Coke make it go away. [Outro - spoken] Hedgefund… you’re driving. I’ve reached the emotional limit of chewing. We leaving this restaurant with dignity, or.... at least what’s left of it... visibly. And remember: science, salad, self-control… all optional. Diet Coke mandatory.
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