**[Intro — arena announcer voice / guitar scratches]** **LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!** From the north! From the south! From the east! From the west! Four corners! One square! **TIMES SQUARE!** And in the middle— **MAYOR BOOMBOTS!** **WHAT A STUNAD!** **GO!** **[Verse 1 — rapid Brooklyn rap]** Gavone in the west corner, leaning on the rail, Talking like a heavyweight with a campaign tale, Skutch in the east corner, yelling through the night, Says he's got a master plan—nobody knows if it's right. Goo-Goos in the north, those prize idiots again, Making big predictions that don't make sense. Shyster's down south with a grin on his face, Already selling tickets to the whole disgrace. Four corners! Four crews! Four different versions Of the evening news! Everybody's got a candidate, Everybody's got a scheme, Everybody's got a microphone And a government dream. **[Pre-Chorus — gang vocals]** **DING! DING!** Round one! **DING! DING!** Here we go! **DING! DING!** Who's gonna win? **NOBODY KNOWS!** **[Chorus — huge chant]** **FATAL FOUR-WAY IN TIMES SQUARE!** Everybody's yelling, nobody cares! **FATAL FOUR-WAY IN TIMES SQUARE!** Four corners fighting for the mayor's chair! West! East! North! South! **WHO LET THESE GUYS IN THE HOUSE?!** **[Verse 2 — aggressive rap]** Then Mayor Boombots grabs the microphone, Look at this stunad running for office alone, Got a campaign slogan nobody can quote, And a fifty-page promise written on a coat. He says, “I got vision!” I say, “Get some glasses!” He says, “I got answers!” I say, “Where are the facts?” Every question gets another little dance, Every serious issue gets a photo-op stance, He shakes everybody's hand, then forgets every name, Calls himself a genius while he's losing the game. **Scheisser!** That's the word from the crowd! **SCHEISSER!** Somebody turn him down! **[Guitar Scratch Break]** *CHK-CHK!* **SKRRAAAP!** *CHK-CHK!* **SKRRAAAP!* **DING! DING!** **ROUND TWO!** **[Verse 3 — faster cadence]** Gavone says, “Vote me!” Skutch says, “Vote me!” Goo-Goos say, “Trust us!” Shyster says, “Pay me!” Mayor Boombots walks in Like he owns the place, Trip over his slogan And falls on his face. Now everybody's talking, Nobody's listening, Every candidate's promising Everything missing. Tax plan? **WHAT TAX PLAN?** Transit? **WHAT TRANSIT?** Housing? **WHO KNOWS?** But give 'em a camera— **THEY'RE READY TO GO!** **[Breakdown — wrestling announcer / gang vocals]** **IN THE WEST!** **GAVONE!** **IN THE EAST!** **SKUTCH!** **IN THE NORTH!** **THE GOO-GOOS!** **IN THE SOUTH!** **SHYSTER'S!** And in the center of the ring— **MAYOR BOOMBOTS!** **SCHEISSER!** **[Bridge — half-time]** Four corners. One microphone. Nobody qualified. Everybody's home. The crowd starts laughing. The cameras roll. **THAT'S POLITICS, BABY!** **[Final Chorus]** **FATAL FOUR-WAY IN TIMES SQUARE!** Everybody's yelling, nobody cares! **FATAL FOUR-WAY IN TIMES SQUARE!** Four corners fighting for the mayor's chair! West! East! North! South! **WHO LET THESE GUYS IN THE HOUSE?!** **FATAL FOUR-WAY!** **DING! DING!** **FATAL FOUR-WAY!** **DING! DING!** **MAYOR BOOMBOTS!** **GET HIM OUT!** **[Outro — scratch guitar / crowd chants]** Gavone! **HEY!** Skutch! **HEY!** Goo-Goos! **HEY!** Shyster! **HEY!** Boombots! **BOOOOO!** **SCHEISSER!** **DING! DING!** **MATCH OVER!**
