DUCKLINGS GO TO THERAPY (OFFICIAL)

blues, jazz, fast, vibrant, bass male vocals + contralto female choir backup, high notes, syncopations, echoes, reverbs, uneven jumpy tempo, pauses, percussive, call-and-response, brush drums, ‑MODERN, ‑RAPID, ‑MALE, ‑ORCHESTRA

[Spoken]
“Welcome, ducks. Let’s name the feeling.”
“…Hungry.”
“…Judged.”
“…My mother was an egg.”
“Thank you for sharing.”
doo doo ....doo do do!

[Verse 1]
So we took ‘em to a session—
Sliding scale and scented chair—
A Yungian with a duck tattoo
And some sort of antique hair.
(he smelled like sandalwood… and boundary issues.)
doo doo ....doo do do!

She said, “My flock has been through something—
Vegas, fame, and god knows grief.”
He said, “Let’s make space for narratives.”
One duck just wept on a wreath.
(the grief wreath. a recurring image.)
doo doo ....doo do do!

[Verse 2]
They took turns with feathered flashbacks—
“She clipped my wings in '08.”
“She labeled me an ‘introvert’
But I was just late.”
(That duck’s name is Calvin. He’s processing.)
doo doo ....doo do do!

Then one confessed his kink was shame—
Another said “I peck compulsively.”
One duck drew a Marxist diagram
About “hegemonic poultry.”
(I took a picture. For his zine.) doo doo ....doo do do!

[Chorus – Gospel-jazz waltz, ducklings echo in falsetto]
She said, “We’re doin’ the work!v
We’re untanglin’ cords!”
We’re livin’ in truth
And nonbinary words!”
And I just blinked on cue—
hoo hoo hoo hoo
‘Cause I’m the uncle too.
(Group affirmations.) doo doo ....doo do do!

[Verse 3]
Therapist played Miles Davis,
Said, “This solo is your shame.”
A duck whispered, “I’m afraid of rice.”
Another said, “Same.”
(We unpacked it. It’s metaphorical.) doo doo ....doo do do!

Then she pulled out a flip chart
With diagrams of blame—
One duck said, “You diagrammed me.”
She said, “You’re not that tame.” doo doo ....doo do do!

[Bridge – Therapist solo, semi-spoken]
“Have you tried consensual stillness?”
“No.”
“Mindful nesting?”
“What?”
“Shadow integration via mirror pond gazing?”
[All ducks quack.]
“Good. That’s progress.” doo doo ....doo do do!

[Verse 4 – Tension rises; tempo climbs]
A duck reenacted birth in mime—
Another sketched a dream:
A mallard made of jello,
And a pastor with whipped cream.
doo doo ....doo do do!

She yelled, “THE SYSTEM IS VIOLENT!”
Then nibbled on a prayer—
The therapist just nodded
While stroking his invisible hair.
doo doo ....doo do do!

[Chorus – Crescendo]
She cried, “We’re naming the pain!
We’re healing in mess!
We’re raising some ducks
Who refuse to regress!”
And I muttered "What else is new?"
hoo hoo hoo hoo
‘Cause I’m the uncle too.
doo doo ....doo do do!

[Verse 5 – Tempo slows, emotional coda]
At week six, they journaled together—
“Dear inner duck, please rise…”
One wrote, “I’m not your darling.
I’m not your compromise.”
(therapy duck, week 6)
doo doo ....doo do do!

They graduated gently,
With tissues and a chant.
Each duck received a certificate
Signed “Trauma (can’t).”

[Final Chorus – A cappella, solemn]
“We’re gonna name our grief,
We’ll swim through the taboo.
We’ll therapize our feathers
In post-structural review.”
And if you dare mock this zoo—
hoo hoo hoo hoo
We’ll project all over you.
(QUACK. That’s transference.)
doo doo ....doo do do!doo doo ....doo d

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[Spoken] “Welcome, ducks. Let’s name the feeling.” “…Hungry.” “…Judged.” “…My mother was an egg.” “Thank you for sharing.” doo doo ....doo do do! [Verse 1] So we took ‘em to a session— Sliding scale and scented chair— A Yungian with a duck tattoo And some sort of antique hair. (he smelled like sandalwood… and boundary issues.) doo doo ....doo do do! She said, “My flock has been through something— Vegas, fame, and god knows grief.” He said, “Let’s make space for narratives.” One duck just wept on a wreath. (the grief wreath. a recurring image.) doo doo ....doo do do! [Verse 2] They took turns with feathered flashbacks— “She clipped my wings in '08.” “She labeled me an ‘introvert’ But I was just late.” (That duck’s name is Calvin. He’s processing.) doo doo ....doo do do! Then one confessed his kink was shame— Another said “I peck compulsively.” One duck drew a Marxist diagram About “hegemonic poultry.” (I took a picture. For his zine.) doo doo ....doo do do! [Chorus – Gospel-jazz waltz, ducklings echo in falsetto] She said, “We’re doin’ the work!v We’re untanglin’ cords!” We’re livin’ in truth And nonbinary words!” And I just blinked on cue— hoo hoo hoo hoo ‘Cause I’m the uncle too. (Group affirmations.) doo doo ....doo do do! [Verse 3] Therapist played Miles Davis, Said, “This solo is your shame.” A duck whispered, “I’m afraid of rice.” Another said, “Same.” (We unpacked it. It’s metaphorical.) doo doo ....doo do do! Then she pulled out a flip chart With diagrams of blame— One duck said, “You diagrammed me.” She said, “You’re not that tame.” doo doo ....doo do do! [Bridge – Therapist solo, semi-spoken] “Have you tried consensual stillness?” “No.” “Mindful nesting?” “What?” “Shadow integration via mirror pond gazing?” [All ducks quack.] “Good. That’s progress.” doo doo ....doo do do! [Verse 4 – Tension rises; tempo climbs] A duck reenacted birth in mime— Another sketched a dream: A mallard made of jello, And a pastor with whipped cream. doo doo ....doo do do! She yelled, “THE SYSTEM IS VIOLENT!” Then nibbled on a prayer— The therapist just nodded While stroking his invisible hair. doo doo ....doo do do! [Chorus – Crescendo] She cried, “We’re naming the pain! We’re healing in mess! We’re raising some ducks Who refuse to regress!” And I muttered "What else is new?" hoo hoo hoo hoo ‘Cause I’m the uncle too. doo doo ....doo do do! [Verse 5 – Tempo slows, emotional coda] At week six, they journaled together— “Dear inner duck, please rise…” One wrote, “I’m not your darling. I’m not your compromise.” (therapy duck, week 6) doo doo ....doo do do! They graduated gently, With tissues and a chant. Each duck received a certificate Signed “Trauma (can’t).” [Final Chorus – A cappella, solemn] “We’re gonna name our grief, We’ll swim through the taboo. We’ll therapize our feathers In post-structural review.” And if you dare mock this zoo— hoo hoo hoo hoo We’ll project all over you. (QUACK. That’s transference.) doo doo ....doo do do!doo doo ....doo d

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