[Verse 1 – Sassy, Conversational] Every Friday night, these boys come struttin' through my door Braggin' 'bout their women, like I ain't heard this shit before Callin' out their measurements like they're playin' bingo I just pour another drink, laughin' at what they don't know [Verse 2 – Sarcastic, Playful] They treat me like I'm Dr. Fuckin' Ruth, askin' for advice I say, "Boys, watch where you stick it, some things come with a price!" They point across the bar and say, "Now, ain't that one a sight?" I say, "She's trouble with a capital T, she'll fuck up your whole night!" [Chorus – Explosive Southern Rock] She's a woman with many talents, usually on her back She's got more mileage than a hooker's Cadillac If you want a load of baggage that'll haunt you all your life Stay the fuck away from her, she ain't nobody's wife! [Verse 3 – More Aggressive, Comedic] One says, "What the fuck? You don't even know that girl!" I say, "Sit your dumb ass down, let me explain this world!" "You boys think with your dicks, and that's your biggest mistake!" "Just 'cause she's hot as hell don't mean she ain't a fuckin' snake!" [Final Chorus – Big, Loud, Full Band] She's a woman with many talents, usually on her back She's got more mileage than a hooker's Cadillac If you want a load of baggage that'll haunt you all your life Stay the fuck away from her, she ain't nobody's wife! [Spoken Outro – Dry, Sarcastic] But hell, what do I know? I'm just the bitch pourin' your drinks! [Short Dirty Guitar Sting]
