[ROBOT] Thank you for calling Your life is important to us [ROBOT] Please hold [HUMAN] I pressed one for work Two for sleep Three if the cost of existing Got harder to meet Four if you're lonely Five if you're fine Six if you've recently noticed You're running out of time I made my selection It sent me around Back to the menu Without making a sound [ROBOT] Please hold Someone will be with you Eventually [HUMAN] Please hold [ROBOT] You're doing great [HUMAN] Please hold [ROBOT] We appreciate your patience [HUMAN] Please hold [HUMAN → ROBOT] Your call matters to us [HUMAN] I've been on this line Since twenty-something The music keeps changing But nobody's coming I learned how to function With one ear occupied Cook dinner Pay bills Have a small existential crisis Stay on the line [ROBOT] Every few years A voice interrupts Have you tried Wanting less? Please hold [ROBOT] For housing Press one For healthcare Press two For something resembling Financial security Please hang up And try again [HUMAN] Please hold [ROBOT] You're doing great [HUMAN] Please hold [ROBOT] We appreciate your patience [HUMAN] Your position in the queue Is [ROBOT] Important [HUMAN] Your position in the queue Is [ROBOT] Important [HUMAN] Your position in the queue [ROBOT] Has not changed [HUMAN] I finally heard breathing On the other end Hello? Hello? For a second I thought somebody answered [ROBOT] We value your feedback Please rate your experience From one to ten [HUMAN] I pressed zero [ROBOT] I'm sorry I didn't understand that response [HUMAN] Please hold [ROBOT] Please hold [HUMAN] Please [ROBOT] Hold [ROBOT] Your call is important to us
