Ladies and gentlemen, scholars and tourists (Don’t trip on the syllables) We’ve got a cargo ship of vowels and no port in sight Let’s go I before E except after C Tell that to the weird neighbor drinking caffeine with glee Rules are just suggestions in a language this old It’s like trying to keep a liquid in a colander fold (Drip drip it’s leaking) If you say I seen it well I knew what you meant But the ghost of my English teacher’s soul is already spent It’s a queue that’s a Q and four silent letters Waiting in line to make the alphabet better Oh it’s an English mangle a jumbled up jargon A linguistic deal from a basement bargain It’s a bit of the Brit and a slice of the Yank It’s the heist of the century at the word bank Now less is for the water the sand and the grief Fewer is for coins and the teeth of a thief If you can count it on your fingers use the F word pal Otherwise you’re drowning in a grammatical canal An anachronism that’s a phone in the forties It’s like bringing a keg to a toddler’s tea party Notice how you got the point even when the gear slipped Meaning is the pilot the word is just the ship Now if you want a word that’ll make your jaw ache A super cali monster that we’re gonna bake We take a little ultra (That means very) Add a little mono (Now it’s solitary) Then go syllabic (Keep the beat steady) Throw in some phobia (Are you scared already) Now stretch it out ultramonosyllabicophobia (The fear of short words) But wait let’s make it an adverb (Why) Because we’re fancy (Oh…) [patter breakdown: ultra-mono-syllabico—phobic-alistic-ally] ultramonosyllabico — phobicalistically ultramonosyllabico — phobicalistically ultramonosyllabicophobicalistically ultramonosyllabicophobicalistically We borrow from the Latin (Latin) We borrow from the Greek (So chic) We’re a linguistic dumpster fire With a flavor that is unique It’s a junk drawer language a glorious mess It’s a tuxedo shirt and some cargo sweatpants If you’re talking and I’m hearing then the battle is won Pack up the dictionary we’re (Done) Is it effect or affect (Nobody knows, buddy, nobody knows) [Words, Production, and Direction by Noizgenie.] [Cover Art Direction by Noizgenie. © 2026 Noizgenie.]
0/500