No Signal on the Seven Seas (Curse of the Black Packet part 1)

Zyle

UK Drill, sea shanty

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[Intro]

[Nova]
Lads...
We've a problem.

[Crewmate]
What is it, Captain?

[Nova]
No signal.

[Silence]

[Crewmate]
...Not even 4G?

[Chorus]

HEAVE HO! Where's me 5G?
Three days out and no connectivity!
YO HO! Can't refresh me feed!
Sailin' the seas at dial-up speed!

HEAVE HO! No bars on the mast!
Tried airplane mode, now we're sailin' past!
YO HO! The captain decrees:
WE NEED REDDIT ON THE SEVEN SEAS!

[Verse 1]

Got a black flag flyin' and a cracked iPhone,
Middle of the ocean, can't get home.
Treasure in the hold, got gold by the tonne,
But me daily streak's gone, and me patience is done.

Climbed the crow's nest, held me phone to the sky,
One little bar, then it waved goodbye.
First mate said, "Try turnin' it off,"
I made him walk the plank for that helpful thought.

[Pre-Chorus]

[Crew, call and response]
Where's the signal?
(GONE TO SEA!)
Where's the Wi-Fi?
(NOT FOR FREE!)
Where's the router?
(BELOW THE DECK!)
Where's me karma?
(WHAT THE HECK!)

[Chorus]

HEAVE HO! Where's me 5G?
Three days out and no connectivity!
YO HO! Can't refresh me feed!
Sailin' the seas at dial-up speed!

HEAVE HO! No bars on the mast!
Tried airplane mode, now we're sailin' past!
YO HO! The captain decrees:
WE NEED REDDIT ON THE SEVEN SEAS!

[Verse 2]

Found an island, thought we'd struck gold,
Just a dead hotspot and a router too old.
Buried treasure? Nah, we dug for a cable,
Got a chest full o' doubloons, but the network's unstable.

Saw a kraken rise from the deep blue sea,
Asked if the beast had a hotspot free.
Eight great arms, and a terrible roar,
Said, "Read the pinned post, I've told ye before!"

[Breakdown]

[Captain Nova]
Me lads...
I've not seen a meme in forty days.

[First mate]
Captain...
Ye've been offline since Tuesday.

[Captain Nova]
...ARRR!

[Final Drop]

NO BARS! (NO BARS!)
NO FEED! (NO FEED!)
WE'VE GOT ALL THE GOLD
BUT NOT THE SPEED!

HEAVE HO! Where's me 5G?
Three days out and no connectivity!
YO HO! Can't refresh me feed!
Sailin' the seas at dial-up speed!

[Outro]

[Captain Nova - Female Pirate Captain, spoken]
Set course for the nearest cell tower.

[First mate]
Captain, that's France.

[Captain Nova]
...Turn the ship around.

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[Intro] [Nova] Lads... We've a problem. [Crewmate] What is it, Captain? [Nova] No signal. [Silence] [Crewmate] ...Not even 4G? [Chorus] HEAVE HO! Where's me 5G? Three days out and no connectivity! YO HO! Can't refresh me feed! Sailin' the seas at dial-up speed! HEAVE HO! No bars on the mast! Tried airplane mode, now we're sailin' past! YO HO! The captain decrees: WE NEED REDDIT ON THE SEVEN SEAS! [Verse 1] Got a black flag flyin' and a cracked iPhone, Middle of the ocean, can't get home. Treasure in the hold, got gold by the tonne, But me daily streak's gone, and me patience is done. Climbed the crow's nest, held me phone to the sky, One little bar, then it waved goodbye. First mate said, "Try turnin' it off," I made him walk the plank for that helpful thought. [Pre-Chorus] [Crew, call and response] Where's the signal? (GONE TO SEA!) Where's the Wi-Fi? (NOT FOR FREE!) Where's the router? (BELOW THE DECK!) Where's me karma? (WHAT THE HECK!) [Chorus] HEAVE HO! Where's me 5G? Three days out and no connectivity! YO HO! Can't refresh me feed! Sailin' the seas at dial-up speed! HEAVE HO! No bars on the mast! Tried airplane mode, now we're sailin' past! YO HO! The captain decrees: WE NEED REDDIT ON THE SEVEN SEAS! [Verse 2] Found an island, thought we'd struck gold, Just a dead hotspot and a router too old. Buried treasure? Nah, we dug for a cable, Got a chest full o' doubloons, but the network's unstable. Saw a kraken rise from the deep blue sea, Asked if the beast had a hotspot free. Eight great arms, and a terrible roar, Said, "Read the pinned post, I've told ye before!" [Breakdown] [Captain Nova] Me lads... I've not seen a meme in forty days. [First mate] Captain... Ye've been offline since Tuesday. [Captain Nova] ...ARRR! [Final Drop] NO BARS! (NO BARS!) NO FEED! (NO FEED!) WE'VE GOT ALL THE GOLD BUT NOT THE SPEED! HEAVE HO! Where's me 5G? Three days out and no connectivity! YO HO! Can't refresh me feed! Sailin' the seas at dial-up speed! [Outro] [Captain Nova - Female Pirate Captain, spoken] Set course for the nearest cell tower. [First mate] Captain, that's France. [Captain Nova] ...Turn the ship around.

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