THE BRAIN FOG WITCH [Intro – Spoken, cheeky witch voice] Double, double, toil and trouble… Where’s my wand? Oh, for fuck’s sake… I’ve left it in the other cauldron! [Verse 1] I woke up this morning, feeling magical, Got my black dress on, looking radical. I’ve got my crystals, I’ve got my brew, But what the bloody hell was I meant to do? I called on the spirits, I called on the dead, They told me something… went straight out my head. Earth, air, fire, water, what’s next in the mix? Oh, bollocks! I’ve forgotten my magic tricks! [Pre-Chorus] I’ve got the power, I’ve got the gift, I’ve got a broom but can’t remember where I parked it! My cauldron’s bubbling, my candles glow, But what I’m conjuring? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW! [CHORUS – Big, infectious, bouncy] I’m the Brain Fog Witch! Got a spell but I’ve lost the switch! Abracadabra, what was that? Can’t remember where I put my hat! I’m the Brain Fog Witch! Got the magic, got the itch! I might be cursed, I might be blessed, But I’ve forgotten what the hell comes next! Hey! Hey! Where’s my spell? Hey! Hey! Can’t remember well! I’m a witch, I’m a bitch, I’m a magical glitch! Bow down to the Brain Fog Witch! [Verse 2] I made a potion, stirred it twice, Threw in some herbs and something that looked like rice. Was it sage? Was it thyme? I’ve been standing here for half the night! The spirits are waiting, the moon’s shining bright, I’ve forgotten their names, but we’re alright. I asked the goddess for a little sign, She probably rolled her eyes for the hundredth time! [Pre-Chorus] I’ve got the power, I’ve got the flame, I can’t remember my familiar’s name! My broomstick’s missing, my cat looks pissed, And I’ve forgotten who I was trying to hex! [CHORUS] I’m the Brain Fog Witch! Got a spell but I’ve lost the switch! Abracadabra, what was that? Can’t remember where I put my hat! I’m the Brain Fog Witch! Got the magic, got the itch! I might be cursed, I might be blessed, But I’ve forgotten what the hell comes next! Hey! Hey! Where’s my spell? Hey! Hey! Can’t remember well! I’m a witch, I’m a bitch, I’m a magical glitch! Bow down to the Brain Fog Witch! [Bridge – Beat drops, spoken and building] Is it menopause? Is it fibro? Is it magic? I don’t know! Did I cast that spell? Did I lock that door? Why the fuck am I standing on the kitchen floor? I don’t need a god to tell me what to do, I’ve got the elements and a dodgy memory too! Earth! Air! Fire! Water! What was I saying? Oh, never mind, I’ll start again! [Build – Rising vocal] Raise your hands! Light the flame! If you forget, it’s not your shame! We’re still magical, loud and proud, Brain fog witches, scream it out! [Final Chorus – Full bass, extra energy] We’re the Brain Fog Witches! Got our spells and missing switches! Abracadabra, where’s my hat? We’ve forgotten where we’re bloody at! We’re the Brain Fog Witches! Magical queens with memory glitches! We might be cursed, we might be blessed, But we’re still fucking fabulous! Hey! Hey! Where’s my spell? Hey! Hey! Can’t remember well! We’re the witches, we’re the glitch, We’re the bloody Brain Fog BITCHES! [Outro – Spoken, cheeky] Right, that’s it. Spell’s finished. Now… what the fuck did I come in here for? Oh yeah… CAKE!
