I sit cross-legged in a tattered bath robe incense burning a cup chamomile my best friend. Voices in my head remind me to breathe, to clear my mind. Ommm… did I shut off the tea pot? Ommm… oh wait, did I feed the cat? Ommm… what’s that noise? Ommm… did I do all that? My mind wonders to and fro. Oh my nasty thoughts you must go! Ommm… I must be patient. Ommm… I must be kind. Ommm… I must be intent. Ommm… crap…that girls hot. Center my breath, center my mind, center myself and I’ll be fine. There’s a fly buzzing near my eye, There’s water dripping in my ear There’s fear creeping up, oh my dear My nose got itchy by minute three, Oh my gosh just let me be. I practice hard, I practice long, oh my god what’s that song? I told my thoughts to go away But they came back with more to say [Chorus] Ommm… did I shut off the tea pot? Ommm… oh wait, did I feed the cat? Ommm… what’s that noise? Ommm… did I do all that? I try to be a monk in my suburban home But like my Wi-Fi’s my brain will roam Still I sit and breathe real slow, trying to find my Zen and my flow. Peace is near—I think—maybe so? (…but now I gotta pee.) [Verse 2] I imagined I was floating in the sky But then I wondered how ducks can fly My stomach growled like a jungle beast So I paused enlightenment to sip my tea… Back on the mat with my whistle wet I chanted “Ommm” My mind now calm, I sit quietly and let those thoughts go in peace. Ommm… I find the calm Ommm… I find the breath. Ommm… I find my rhythm. Ommm… I find my oneness. I am one with the universe I am deep in mt soul When all of a sudden the bell does toll Oh crap someone’s at the door and I must go.
