[Verse 1] From Mississippi's muddy flow, A humorist with stories grand! Twain said It is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled! [Chorus] Heave ho, for Twain, with laugh and sigh! Beneath the wide Missouri sky! Heave ho, Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn too! Adventures old, adventures new! [Verse 2] Don't wrestle fools down in the muck, They'll drag ye down and win with ease! Twain said Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience! [Chorus] Heave ho, for Twain, with laugh and sigh! Beneath the wide Missouri sky! Heave ho, Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn too! Adventures old, adventures new! [Verse 3] Get facts down straight before ye start, Then twist 'em 'round to suit yer needs! Twain said Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please! [Chorus] Heave ho, for Twain, with laugh and sigh! Beneath the wide Missouri sky! Heave ho, Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn too! Adventures old, adventures new! [Verse 4] Go see the world, cast off the lines, Twain said Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness! True courage isn't lack of fear, Twain said Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear! [Chorus] Heave ho, for Twain, with laugh and sigh! Beneath the wide Missouri sky! Heave ho, Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn too! Adventures old, adventures new!
