[Intro] Yeah… Uh I been tryna find myself But every time I do, I lose somebody else [Verse 1] Talking shit right out the gate, I don’t care about mistakes I been running from my brain, tryna outrun all the weight Got a smile up on my face, but that shit is just a fake If you knew what’s in my head, you would probably hesitate I got demons in the passenger, memories in the back Twenty-seven, still wondering if I’m ever on the right track Had a bottle in my hand, had my whole life going black Now I’m staring at the mirror like, , don’t go back. I don’t wanna die, I just wanna feel alive That’s the fucked-up part, I’m just tryna make it through the night Everybody sees the attitude, nobody sees the fright I’m a scared little kid underneath the “I’m alright” I got people that I love, got attachment like a chain If they pull away an inch, I feel it running through my veins I can turn a little silence into evidence of pain Then I’m crying, then I’m angry, then I’m laughing shit’s insane [Pre-Chorus] Mental whiplash, going left, going right One minute I’m okay, next I’m fighting for my life Not literally—I mean I’m fighting with my mind Tryna separate the past from the person that I am tonight [Chorus] I don’t wanna go back, no, no I don’t wanna lose that soul, no, no I been drinking just to drown, but the water got too cold Now I’m learning how to live with all the shit I never told If I love you, I love hard, that’s a curse and it’s a gift If you leave me, I might break, but I’m learning not to trip I got scars that ain’t visible, got battles in my ribs I’m still here, I’m still here— Guess I’m stronger than I think [Verse 2] Probation on my name, interlock on the wheel Funny how a stupid night can make your whole life feel surreal Had to learn that consequences don’t care how you feel And sobriety ain’t punishment, it’s learning how to heal My main knows the worst of me, still she ain’t run away Therapist hears all the shit I never know how to say I get scared that I’m too much, that they’ll disappear one day So I test the fucking limits just to see if they will stay Yeah, I know that ain’t fair, I can admit when I’m wrong I been turning every heartbreak into words inside a song I got rage inside my chest, got depression in the dawn But I wake up every morning, so I guess I still belong And I vape when I get nervous, yeah, I know that shit is dumb Trying to quit another habit while I’m scared of what’s to come But I’m tired of being numb, I’m tired of running from Every version of myself that I was trying to become [Bridge — melodic] Maybe I’m not broken Maybe I’m just hurting Maybe all this chaos Means I’m still searching If tomorrow comes Then I’ll meet it sober Twenty-seven now But I’m finally getting older [Final Chorus] I don’t wanna go back, no, no I don’t wanna lose that soul, no, no I been staring at the past like it’s something I can hold But you can’t heal a wound if you keep reopening the hole If I love you, I love hard, that’s a curse and it’s a gift If you leave me, I might break, but I’m learning how to sit With the silence, with the fear, with the person that I am I ain’t perfect, I ain’t fixed— But I’m here, and that’s the plan [Outro] Yeah… Mental whiplash. Still me. Just… sober this time.
