P.E. Sucks

[Verse 1] Coach blows the whistle, here we go, Another mile run, way too slow. I’m gaspin’ air, my legs are lead, Why can’t I just stay home instead? The ball flies by, I duck and flinch, They call that “fun”? Yeah, sure—by an inch! [Chorus] ’Cause P.E. sucks, let’s tell the truth, I’m no track star, just a tired youth. They say it’s “good for body and soul,” But I just wanna keep my lunch control! Yeah, P.E. sucks, that’s how it goes, Sweaty shirts and twisted toes. You can keep your dodgeball luck— I’m done with P.E., ’cause P.E. sucks! [Verse 2] They say, “Team spirit builds your pride,” But my pride’s still on the bleachers’ side. I missed the hoop, I tripped again, I’m everyone’s last draft pick, friend. Why do we run in circles wide? If I wanted torture, I’d just confide! [Chorus] Yeah, P.E. sucks, let’s face the facts, I’m not cut out for jumping jacks. If fitness means eternal pain, Then I’ll just take the mental gain! Oh, P.E. sucks, it’s no big crime, To say I’d rather spend my time In books, not balls, or soccer trucks— I’ve had enough, ‘cause P.E. sucks! [Bridge] They grade me low for lack of push-ups, But where’s the class on coffee cups? I’d ace that test and skip the run, ‘Cause sitting still’s my kind of fun! [Final Chorus] Yeah, P.E. sucks, but that’s okay, Someday I’ll laugh this pain away. The coach will yell, the sneakers squeak— But gym class glory ain’t my peak! Oh, P.E. sucks, I’ll take my F, And still survive with self-respect. No locker smell, no sweaty chucks— I’m outta here, ‘cause P.E. sucks! [Outro – cheerfully spoken] “Now that’s my kind of exercise — walking out of class!”