Hotel Cat Life So Near

[Verse 1] On a soft moonlit sidewalk, cool breeze in the air, Sweet smell of catnip rising up through the air, Up ahead in the distance, I saw a flickering light, My paws grew heavy and my whiskers felt tight, I had to stop for the night, There she sat by the window, I heard the soft mew bell, And I was thinkin' to myself, "This could be heaven or this could be hell," Then she lit up a lantern and she showed me the way, There were voices in the hallway, I thought I heard them say, "Welcome to the Hotel Cat Life So Near, Such a cozy place (such a cozy place) Such a furry face, Plenty of room at the Hotel Cat Life So Near, Any time of year (any time of year) You can find it here." [Verse 2] Her mind is mouse-twisted, she got a velvet bed, uh, She got a lot of pretty, pretty tails that she calls friends, How they purr in the courtyard, soft winter heat, Some purr to remember, some purr to sleep, So I called out to the keeper, "Please bring me some fish," He said, "We haven't had that treat here since '96," And still, those voices are purring from far away, Wake you up in the middle of the night just to hear them say, "Welcome to the Hotel Cat Life So Near, Such a cozy place (such a cozy place) Such a furry face, They're livin' it up at the Hotel Cat Life So Near, What a soft surprise (what a soft surprise) Bring your alibis." [Verse 3] Mirrors on the windows, the tuna served with spice, And she said, "We are all just kittens here of our own device," And in the feline chambers, they gathered for the feast, They scratch it with their tiny paws, but they just can't catch the beast, Last thing I remember, I was running for the door, I had to find the passage back to the life I had before, "Relax," said the night cat, "We are programmed to receive, You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."