[intro - vinyl crackle, heavy boom bap beat drops] Listen up bredren, gather round the yard, Keeping the missus happy shouldn't be so hard. But you got 'em in a chokehold, tight denim seams, Suffocating the pair, crushing their dreams. You gotta let 'em hang loose, give the twins some space, Don't trap the poor girls in a sweaty embrace. (Free 'em up!) Cotton boxers, let the cool wind blow, Respect the foundation, watch the harmony grow. [hook - heavy bass, rhythmic scratching] Handle the pair with the absolute care, Keep 'em nice and cozy in the frosty winter air. When the summer heat strikes, watch 'em drop down low, (Swing low!) That's the biological thermometer flow. Treat the family jewels like a royal estate, Check 'em in the shower 'fore it gets too late. [verse 2 - double time flow, slick patois cadence] Check the scenery, me bredren, no time to be slack, When you're soaping up the front, don't ignore the old sack. I'm talking 'bout the baggage, the marital bond, If you feel a strange lump, you must quickly respond! (What's that?) Don't panic, take a trip to the doc, A thorough little survey at the base of the block. A gentle little roll 'tween the thumb and the index, Keep the missus healthy, avoid the complexes! No violent squeezes, man, you gotta be mild, A sudden sharp knock makes the ladies go wild. (Agh!) Left one hanging slightly lower than the right? That's perfectly normal, keeping everything tight. [chorus 2 - heavier bass drop, brass horns added] Handle the twins with the absolute care, Protect the old girls from a chilly nightmare. When the blazing sun beats, let 'em hang right down, (Drop 'em!) It's the most natural cooling in town. Polish up the jewels, keep the royalty straight, Examine 'em weekly, mate, seal your own fate. [bridge - stripped back beat, heavy bassline only] Now some mandem like to cross their legs tight on the train, Squashing the relationship, inflicting the pain. Give the marriage room to breathe, open up the stance, Don't be throwing the jewels in a washing machine dance. If they shrink in the cold, don't you worry 'bout a ting, They're just pulling in close for the warmth you can bring. [verse 3 - fast aggressive patois rap] So remember the lesson, keep the temperature right, Not too close to the laptop when you're working at night! (Too hot!) Roasting the seeds before they even can sow, Give the missus a breeze, let the fresh air flow. A monthly little check when you're under the spray, Keeps the doctors and the marital problems away. [outro - beat fading, isolated bassline] Yeah. Respect your partners. The left and the right. (Keep 'em safe) Give 'em a breeze, give 'em a check. Boom bap. We out. [fade to silence]
