[Intro – Spoken] 🎤 “This one’s for Kat’s class. And all the emotionally stunted whales just trying to pay rent.” [Verse 1] Career fair dreams in the gym that day, Clipboards and hopes in a paper display. Kat’s friend stood up with her slideshow bright, And told us all: “Whales deserve space. And I need that money, right?” [Pre-Chorus] She showed a dolphin, looked real sad, Talked salary stats that made her mad. Less than forty K a year?? She cried, “That’s not a career!” [Chorus – Calypso with kettle drums!] 🎵 Big spaces! Little spaces! Whales need oceans, not dentist’s basements! Don’t trap your dreams in plastic tanks— They’ll lose their glow and start to stank! 🎵 Big spaces! Emotional traces! Fish got feelings in tight glass cases! You say “marine life”? That’s your plan? But girl, you need that minivan! [Bridge – Kettle Drum Breakdown] (Boom… Boom-boom… Boom…) 🎤 “She said: I’m way too sensitive to save sea lions for 38K. I deserve a big vibe. A therapist. And at least three days off.” (Boom boom-boom boom-boom!!) [Verse 2 – Reprise style] She had a chart with a crying orca, Said stress was high—like her Sephora. And I—Matt—was holding in my laugh, Till Brenda hit me with the homeschool staff. [Final Chorus – Go full Disney!] 🎵 Big spaces! Career chases! Kat’s friend warned us with facial braces! If your dreams feel tight or start to smell— You’re a whale stuck inside a cell! 🎵 Big spaces! Little graces! Don’t gaslight fish in confined places! If your life’s a tank, break the glass— Or end up flopping in senior class! [Outro – whisper sing + kettle hit] 🎤 “Free the whales… and your GPA.”
