Your name tastes like glitter on my tongue Like pink static tangled in my lungs Like arcade lights at quarter past two Every stupid little thing reminds me of you You walk in and the whole room bends weird Like my heartbeat’s too loud for anyone to hear You smile and my thoughts all blur and smear And suddenly I forget how to appear sincere You’re all silver rings and soft-eyed danger A beautiful, untouchable stranger And I’m just a scribbled-out disaster Moving too slow while the world moves faster I watch the way you push back your hair Like it’s nothing, like you don’t know I’m there Meanwhile I’m turning inside out Trying not to let my feelings spill out my mouth Cause you’re so pretty it physically aches Like sleepless nights and tiny earthquakes Like staring too long at city lights Till everything burns into your eyes And I know you deserve somebody clean Somebody stable, somebody serene Not somebody who spirals for hours Overthinking every text you send after midnight showers I mean— You say “goodnight” and I reread it ten times Trying to decode every period and every line Like maybe if I study hard enough I can convince myself I might be enough But then I see myself in bathroom mirrors All fragmented edges and ugly fears Mascara stains and bitten skin Every flaw screaming underneath my grin And you— You look like warm coffee shops in winter Like soft music leaking from speakers Like safety Like something my hands were never meant to keep I wanna hold your hand in crowded streets Match our footsteps and tangled sleeves I wanna hear you ramble for hours straight About things nobody else would stay awake for anyway I wanna memorize the shape of your laugh The way your voice cracks when you talk too fast The little pauses before you speak Like your thoughts are too beautiful to release all at once But every time you get too close My brain turns venomous and cold Saying: “They’ll figure you out.” “They’ll leave when they know.” “You were never built to be loved for long.” So instead I sit here romanticizing damage Turning heartbreak into aesthetics Making poetry out of self-hatred Like maybe if it sounds pretty enough it won’t hurt as bad I love you like a secret glitch Like overloaded circuits and bitten lips Like flickering neon signs in rainstorms Like staying awake till my body feels airborne And God, I swear I try so hard To become someone softer Someone easier to hold Someone who doesn’t feel like a warning label Because you deserve sunlit bedrooms Fresh flowers and calm afternoons Not someone whose chest caves in Every time they think they’ve let somebody in You deserve a love that doesn’t shake A love without panic attacks Without jealousy Without the constant fear of being replaced Meanwhile I’m lying awake at 4AM Staring at glowing ceilings again Wondering how someone like you Could ever touch someone like me without regretting it And maybe one day You’ll kiss somebody prettier Somebody lighter Somebody who doesn’t treat affection like a ticking bomb And I’ll pretend it doesn’t kill me I’ll joke about it with my friends While quietly replaying your voice in my headphones Until it stops sounding like home But for now I’ll stay here in this strange in-between Half in love Half convinced I’m unlovable Watching your name light up my screen Like the universe dangling something beautiful Just out of reach again.
